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It’s a stage! My 3yo daughter is the same yelling at me “No, not you! Mommy will do it” and then proceeds to have an absolute fit.
It bothered me initially, but then I told her no and remembered she’s not the parent, I am!
I want to respect her boundaries, but when her mom is already doing a thousand other things she just needs to accept that yes, I can get her a cup of milk and it’s not the end of the world. I also talk to her while I’m getting g the milk or other countless rudimentary things that we all need to help, etc.
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My kid just started this. I've found that if I ask him if he just needs space and if I can help him, the answer is yes and we move along. I think some switch is flipping that they realize the value and need of personal space, but asking for the other parent or just saying no is the only way they know to get it. I'm teaching him 'i need space' and we're making progress!
Find some fun & special daddy adventures or treats just for you two... I read my son this book series so it’s our thing to go to the library. Now that it’s getting warmer I’ll take him to an ice cream shop after a playground visit.
I have two kids, one favors me and the other tends to favor my wife. Sometimes they also want one parent for specific reasons (both will come to me if they are sick or injured since I have always cared for them in the past when similar situations came up).
While it make seem/feel hurtful I would try not to get too down on yourself. My older son who definitely favors me has told me he hates me because I enforced a rule or forgot something minor that we had talked about doing/buying/etc. - but those feelings usually fade quickly and the next day he is back to himself.