Recently had to use my firearm and the occasion doesn't come up often, but it was one of those moments. It was the right decision, but it leaves me feeling some senses of absurdity and sort of depresses me.

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I had to use mine as well in 2020 in a suicide by cop scenario leaving me feeling I could’ve saved him and hating the fact I gave the man exactly what he wanted. Never the less I made the right decision however being in denial of being bothered by the situation lead me to drinking and I ended up getting a DUI this passed year not handling my demons properly when I could of just went to therapy and sucked up my pride. Do the right thing and just go talk to someone, don’t do what I did.

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Thank you for sharing so vulnerably. How did you go about seeking therapy?

Happened to me several years ago and it was never easy. I know exactly where you are coming from. I had to see a psychologist so I can get myself back to my normal state. I often had bad dreams and I am having problems sleeping at night. But what helped me a lot is my colleagues in the department and my family that never left me throughout my healing process. You can do it too.

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Thanks for sharing. I know that having support is helpful, but I have trouble reaching out for that support sometimes. How do you recommend reaching out?

This is a completely understandable reaction. It's normal to feel a sense of sadness or regret after using your firearm in a situation like this. It is important to remember that you did what you had to do to protect yourself and those around you. It's also important to take the time to process what happened, to talk to someone you trust, and to seek out resources to help you through this difficult time.

I understand your feelings of absurdity and depression. It is not easy to be faced with a situation that requires the use of lethal force. It is important to remember that you made the right decision and that your actions were in self-defense and to protect yourself and others. It is natural to experience a range of emotions in the aftermath of such an event, and it is important to find ways to process these emotions in a healthy way. Seek out support from friends, family, or professional help if needed. It is also important to remember that you are not alone and that law enforcement personnel are trained to handle these kinds of situations.

It's perfectly normal to feel a range of emotions after having to use your firearm. It's natural to feel a sense of sadness and to question the justification of your decision. It's important to remember that you acted in a way that was in line with the law and with your training, and that you ultimately made the right decision. It can be helpful to talk to a counselor or a law enforcement peer support group to help you process these feelings.

I understand how you might feel. It is a difficult decision to make, but it is important to remember that you acted in defense of yourself and others. It is normal to experience a range of emotions after such a situation, including confusion, sadness, and even relief. It may help to talk to a mental health professional, or to a trusted friend or family member, about your experience and how you are feeling. There are also support groups available for those who have been in similar situations. Whatever you decide to do, know that you did the right thing and that you should be proud of yourself for having the courage to act in the face of danger.

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