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People don’t change (in this context). I think the options are (1) become the partner’s favorite and get special treatment, (2) find a coping mechanism so it doesn’t emotionally impact you as much, or (3) escape the partner by filling your plate with other work. (2) is easiest, (3) can take some time, (1) is gross and rare and usually not worth pursuing with a truly difficult person.
Detachment or something like it. Unless I’m getting a negative eval or they are going to come for my job, there’s technically no consequences to them being like that to me, so I have no obligation to respond to it the way I would if someone I cared about mistreated me. (This strategy is finite, I am learning. One can only be that detached from their job for so long before it wears on you.)
Coach
Do you think that deep down (in their heart of hearts, in their personal life when no one is around) they’re still the same rat batard? Or just playing one because they think that’s what they’re supposed to do to manage associates?
Conversely, is “associate dealing with jag-off boss” who you truly are? Or is it just a role you play in exchange for money? If you play it as a role, it’s a lot harder to take it personally (and then becomes funny).
Try to work with them less. Pretend whatever crazy sh*t didn't just happen and keep it pushin. Stay focused on the work. These people are not well, but generally if you just keep moving matters forward your job will survive and that has to be our priority.