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Post work: school/daycare pickups with corresponding Sing or Frozen sing-along, or heated discussion on merits of various Bakugan, then either a) chauffeur to and from extracurriculars then supper together or b} if no extracurriculars, then just straight to supper then a fun after-supper activity (Lego-building, slug and salamander hunting, evening hike with flashlights, etc.). Bathtime, then homework review/piano practice, bedtime story and brush up, and the final routine: Eskimo kiss, hug, smoochie, fist bump, high five. Every night, no exceptions. A few last work emails, then bed. Can't complain, life is good :)
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This sounds amazing
I’ve been lucky and staffed on a local project for the last 11 months. The amount of time I’ve been able to be home for dinner, do snack and bath, then put them to bed has me really torn if I want to return to consulting or pursue industry jobs.
I love the diversity of work I get in consulting, but I’m also very aware of the finite amount of time I have with my little ones. We can never get that time back. Sometime the juice just isn’t worth the squeeze.
Best of luck op, we all have to figure it out at some point.
Home at 530-630. Dinner. Quick dance party (lately). Bath for both. Books and bed for 2yo. Screen time for 6yo. Books and bed for 6yo. Screen time for mom and me (and log back in to work to polish off anything that can’t wait until tomorrow). Bed by 10-11ish (unless shit is really hitting the fan at work).
Conversation Starter
Are in their pajamas). Then we get the kids upstairs, chat them in their rooms, and then wife and I hang out in our room for an hour. Then go to sleep.
Get home and let my daughter sit on my lap as we go through letters or watch tv. Then, read her a book before bed around 8.
Future dad here, and struggling a bit with the value prop of staying in consulting with kids. Truly curious: is that one to two hours enough? Is consulting worth it for that shortened tome?
It is not worth it. Corporate and especially Consulting lie. They use us as canon meat to satisfy the shareholders appetite.
Use them instead. Work there for a while until u decide to have a family. As soon as this is decided. Change job.
This is not an advice. This is a life tip.
Nothing is worth not seeing your kids and bonding with them. Nothing.
U will never EVER EVER bond the proper way if you are not around.
I am in the middle of a divorce because of this. Kids are 12 & 10. 5 years ago, I decided I wanted to stop being absent. Wife did not like the sudden change of lifestyle and decided I was now worthless (I had jobs btw but paid less).
People change. Make sure u discuss this WAY in advance so your partner knows u want to be there for her/him, for the kids, may involve moving closer to your/his/her parents.
(Do move closer to the grand parents / family, thank me later); free babysitting and Sunday meals at your/his/her parents are just a massive bowl of fresh air, win win for everyone and u can escape and focus on your partner properly from time to time ...
A partner is the most important person. Do not neglect him/her.
Put them as your king or your queen in your mind and your acts, make sure they always always come first and discuss to make sure they do the exact same for you. That way, Everybody wins, because nobody feels left out.
All of those moments are life events change. Which u need to discuss WAY before too.
Sit down, WRITE THINGS DOWN, so u have proof. This is both really important to prove that things were discussed and agreed. And also if you end up divorcing one day.
Now about the kids...
Kids will reset memory and forget most of their early past when they turn 7/8 so again, anything u have done for them from 0>5 (like paying for amazing super expensive holidays will be forgotten. Only pictures will be a reminder
What I am trying to say is, they won’t remember your money. They will only remember you being present.
Showing them how to swim faster
Kick a ball properly
Understand how a rugby ball bounces 3 times and go up by magic
How to hold a pen
How to play recorder Properly
How to draw a tree and a pig
Make a painting, together and hang it on the wall, together
Drive the car for 10 yards on your daddy’s lap (or mummy)
Do homework, together
Look after them when poorly or bullied
U need to read the good books about being a parent, but EARLY, so u ll know what u will be missing 5/10 years before u even plan to have a family.
Now about your great money machine ...
In case of a divorce:
Divorce are about 2 things:
How much money u keep
&
Are the children in the best environment possible to thrive ?
a divorce court WILL judge YOU and your past too. If you are the main money maker and second on the kids radar, you will not know SO MUCH stuff (friends names, parents school WhatsApp groups, size of clothes, shoes size, homework, play dates, gifts for friends, clubs they go to, various agenda, music grades, all the adult teachers / interactions they have in extra schooling mode, etc etc etc) that eventually if the $hit the fan, you ll end sup SOLO.
U ll pay for the house
U ll pay for child maintenance
U ll pay spouse maintenance
U won’t be able to change jobs and stay in your consulting job that created that misery in the first place
U ex partner will hook up with your best mate / neighbour that was nearby while u were travelling (life is usually full of irony)
Is this worth it ^ ?
50% of people divorce (or separate) in London UK
50% in all big towns
Don’t be on the wrong side of history
Good luck
Love your partner
Be home on time
Ask your kids what they did today
Face to face
Make love often
Cook
Live & Laugh
Life is short
Conversation Starter
I think an hour with the kids and an hour with the wife is probably the max you’ll get in any high pressure job. When I travel of course that is 0 and 0
Conversation Starter
I feel like making sure the time you have with them is really high quality. And the best of yourself helps. I try really hard not to spend the time on my phone or distracted with something else.
I asked the question because I’m going to see my dad this weekend. I was thinking back to my childhood and my dad would get home around 5 but he would just do his own thing. Drink a beer, watch tv, eat some chips. Then at 7 we would eat dinner with the tv on (usually one of my favorite sit coms). My parents didn’t have the best relationship and would fight about something most nights. And then I’d go up and go to sleep. I remember my dad saying “bye” to be when I went up which kind of freaked me out for some reason.
Point is not to rag on my parents. They did the best they could and it was a different time with different expectations. But I’m saying that you could be around a lot, but not really be present. Since we have demanding jobs, we need to push ourselves to take the most advantage of the time we do have.
I'm blessed to work from home.
13 year old we spend my late lunch break doing homework. They continue with reading and study. Church a few nights a week. Sports a few nights then scouts one night. We're lucky to have a sit down meal at a normal time.
19 year old. Texts a few times a week from college about random stuff.
21 year old. Just started a job in his degree field. We talk sports, movies, music and succeeding in business every night.
I’ve been on both the corporate and consulting side. It’s definitely better with kids being home on the corporate side even with some travel. The hardest adjustment is on you because you still have work at night you just do it around family time and not all management is supportive of leaving at 6 for dinner/bedtime and working later.
Home by 5:30, play with the kid, feed her dinner, play some more and then bathe her. Once she’s in bed I clock back in for 1-2 hrs, hang out with the wife and then bed
Conversation Starter
How do you get out of work early enough to do this? Kids out of school at what 3:30?
Pretty mellow work hours. Office hours are roughly 7:45am to 4pm, with maybe an additional 1-2 hours on a regular basis at home.
Your 2nd career is at home. I enjoy picking up the slack at night. If not reading, I’m loading the dish washer.
My younger kids and I are on the Flash series (for Tweens) and re-staring the college talk with the Freshman. I enjoy it, but it‘s not easy day-in-day-out. But it’s worth it when any of them get called out in a good way (either other parents, teacher, coaches, and random strangers)