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I know it’s cheesy but in saving private ryan Tom Hanks talked about how you always complain up, never down. Register the complaints, take action with your superiors, put on your poker face, let them know their concerns are being addressed and ask if there’s anything specific you can do to help the situation. You don’t need to sugar coat anything. Be real, be human, be someone they can confide in, and most importantly, you don’t always need to share an opinion. I treat conflicts stuff like politics and religion, my opinion is irrelevant and does not need to be expressed.
Don't sugarcoat. Be real. But no need to be negative either. I don't want to hear, "everything is fine!" When it is clearly not. But I do want to hear,"we will get through this together."
The "golden rule" applies. Treat others how you would want to be treated. Generally that's with kindness and grace. If you're genuinely attempting to be your best self, the best leader you can be, that passion will come through. You won't have to sugar coat. Posting here & asking the right questions sounds like you're trying & that's a positive in my book. You get what you put in. Do the work my friend. Take care. 🙏
Sugarcoat is a political tactic. Be real. Be transparent. Tell it like it is. Don’t disrespect. Be empathetic. I enter my leadership roll daily full of positive energy. I greet everyone. I talk to them all. When I see something wrong I say it at the moment. I may sandwich it with positive remarks but ideally your want to get a commitment to improve and offer any assistance to help improve and follow up.
In the other hand, lack of belief in the company or its vision can lead to a lack of motivation, which can then spread to the entire team..
Don’t show this truth to the team, it will hurt more than help. In peer 1:1s or your mentor(s), openly express those things and seek council/recommendations as needed.
The team is dealing with their own lives, plus your requests, plus plus plus … it might just be your positivity (fake or not) that is getting them through the grind.
Do you think you can tell when leaders are lying to you or only telling part of the truth? Thought so. So why wouldn’t people be able to do the same with you?
You have two choices: tell the truth or be so good at lying to yourself that you think you are telling the truth (let’s call that the Trumpian approach to leadership).
Assuming you want to do the first you can put effort into controlling your emotions and into casting your message for your audience (they care about themselves, not you), but don’t sugarcoat unless you want to be ignored.
“This is shit and we will get through it” is a much more uplifting message than “This isn’t shit”
Coach
People can spot that from a mile away when things are not positive, but it’s being concealed. Be honest instead.
Hmm this is a great question OP. I don't sugarcoat things with my team and I really try to be as transparent as possible but obviously there are times as a leader that you can't tell your team everything. There is a big difference between being fake versus doing your job as a leader.