Wife is pregnant, having fights about small things and escalating everything which can be calmly managed. Guessing it’s the hormonal changes plus stress of baby, I’m trying to be as supportive and helpful but struggling to keep her focused on her health and baby v/s minor household stuff.

Any advice on how I can best handle this?

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Yep. You’re gunna have to just eat it for a year or so and be supportive. Pick your battles very carefully.

Just remember that she is the one going through the real shit, you are just experiencing her stress and pain second hand. After it’s all said and done, she’ll apologize for being irrational (at least my wife did).

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Yep. My exact experience. Post baby was much worse than pre too.

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Hire help & take things off her plate.

Pregnancy hormones are absolutely wild. Take everything said with grace and compassion and keep moving forward.

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I know it’s tough but just remember she is having to carry a tiny human for 9 months then go through the pain of labour. It’s easy to get wrapped up in arguments but try to be the one that de escalates or leave the conversation.

If she wants minor houseful stuff done - just do it.

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Suck it up and do it, and more with a smile. She is building a baby every second of the day, I can only imagine how hard that is, so do all you can to take stuff off her plate and remember even when she is wrong, she is right :-)

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Suggest taking on her mental load as much as you can. Not sure what arrangements y’all have for household maintenance, but assure her through your actions that she doesn’t have to worry about certain things. Like cooking and cleaning. Basically operate as if you’re living solo and caretaking someone who is basically sick (which is kind of true).
This includes, once the kid is here, to be able to take over with kid duties as needed. You don’t have to do everything for the kid but make sure you know how to do it (to avoid bottlenecks) and make sure you’re including in your duties to handle small things like bottles, diapers, and giving her time to sleep.

You can’t make her happy (or anyone for that matter), but you can make sure you’re doing your best by attending to her needs as proactively as possible.

Also, keep an eye on PPD and it’s signs.

This is a hard time for you. Just develop thick skin and don’t take anything personal until the kid is 2 years old. I’m here for you brotha, fatherhood ain’t for the weak. But it will make you a much better man if you rise up to the occasion. PM me for any questions. Got a 3y boy and 10mo girl as of now.

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Heading into 2023, here are some phrases I'm eliminating:

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2. "No problem."
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Use it wisely.

Never sell yourself short when you know you have good intentions

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