Anyone know appropriate discipline for an 18-month old? Not talking spanking.. but a stern voice doesn't seem to help especially when he doesn't feel like listening. A timeout in the hallway doesn't work because he'll just fight his way out. If I say things like "no" or "that's not nice", he'll just parrot the words and do it again. Thoughts?

likefunny
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As a father of two… it’s hard to do in the moment but I usually assume some basic needs aren’t being meet for them to “behave” or respond they way we wish. I usually ask them to stop a couple times, but then I start to question. If if they went to sleep on schedule. If they’ve eaten, if I’ve actually given them my undivided attention. Usually I discover I’m at fault…

likeuplifting

I really like this

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I think topics like this deserve an “it depends” for everything. That said, I’ve never been a fan of timeouts because it doesn’t seem directly connected to the problem. I like connecting the misbehavior to the correction. For example, hitting a kid while playing means no playtime for the rest of the day. 18 months is a tricky age, though. My kid (and pretty much everyone else) hates my singing voice, so I sing a 90s song whenever there’s back-talk. Chumbawumba is the cruelest of punishments for that…

likefunny

Funny! My kid would just laugh at that one. But there’s something to connecting the misbehavior to the correction. I’ll have to think about that some more

We have tried to remain relatively even keel with the kids but it isn’t always the case. However, when one has done something really frustrating or bad, the “surprise voice” comes out. Basically stern/loud. Usually catches the attention and corrects behavior. It’s just a matter of time until that is pushed to its limit and we have to figure out something else.

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18 months is super young. We have a 23 month old and are still really only at the phase of using consistency and repetition to correct behaviors. Punishment seems wildly wrong at that age to me. We keep an even temperament, explain the change we want, and then repeat as it happens again. Which it will no matter what you do. Then wife and I talk about this stuff so we are both doing the same thing.

Now I’ll also say we haven’t dealt with a ton of behavior issues either.

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I should clarify… I’m not saying our method is perfect and preventing the misbehavior. Just saying I’m not sure if our approach would change if our kid was misbehaving in a much bigger and more frequent way.

We use timeouts and escalate to "go to your room" if that doesn't work. At 18 months, he probably still has a bed he can't escape from, right? Also, remember it's a battle of wills, and the important part is to remember that the punishment IS making an impact even if he appears to not care. You need to appear as though you can do this all day and stay 100% true to your word ( e.g. if you threaten with no dessert, there is no dessert - period). I also use the 3-count and it works well because they know if I say "3" that's it, punishment is happening- doesn't matter if they straighten up after 3, too late. A huge part of this is rewarding good behavior as well. As soon as the tantrum ends you need to show him he's on the right path, which maybe is just a change in your own demeanor if he's still sitting in timeout. Call out little things that he does that ARE good (even if they're really inconsequential) and praise him.

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