Being the the only female in IT within a team of 16 men. I was told by one of them that " this might be inappropriate, but how do you feel being the only women in the team? If you ever feel overpowered or anything feel free to reach out to me. I know you don't need any saving and you can save your self but I'm just laying it on the table". Now I was ok until he pointed this out to me and I'm insecure that all these men think I'm a women what can I do. It's that constant feeling of being judged

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One thing that keeps me going in a male dominated industry is realizing that a lot of men are actually REALLY insecure, and what’s worse for them is they see it as socially unacceptable to show vulnerability.

I’ve started really watching behavior of the men and I know who’s confident and who realistically goes home and psycho-analyzes everything they said that day. It’s helped me to manage dealing with men. They’re just like us feeling insecure and even moreso don’t have the ability to express it like we do. I channel that as my power over them.

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I am often the only woman in many of the teams and meetings I participate in, and I’m also usually one of the youngest people there. I get talked over and have people ignore or try to go around me a lot. There’s a lot of judgement, assumptions, and undermining; It’s infuriating. One of the guys that I work adjacent to is my age but he has been with the company for 10 years and so he has more respect from the others (plus just being a dude). He had offered something similar to me to help get people to listen when I am trying to say something. I thanked him for being an ally but ultimately, the guys will just have to figure out how to deal with me without a buffer. If they don’t like it, that’s their issue that they can take up with my boss. I will sometimes go to this colleague and ask for advice on approaching specific thorny people, and that has been helpful. If you feel like you can trust this team member, maybe ask him about the reality of the situation. We all feel judged, but maybe that’s just a little paranoia/impostor syndrome creeping in.

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Interesting. I agree insecurity is not gender specific and both Men and women can be dealing with it. I think from my experience particularly professional, I see less Men insure than women. However personally, I find either male or female insure almost 50-50 when it comes to personal matters outside corporate world. That's my observation based on my own experience as some men seem to fear highly achieving women and women not so much ("Man Man's world?"). I have always been the only woman in Technology. Business Management and Consulting Team and never had ANY issue working around men until one of the managers left and was replace by an insecure women then all hell broke loose. Could it be because, as at university in Business Engineering in Applied and Management where I was also the only female, my behavior or my way of doing has changed since I never encountered or worked with women and let alone having a woman as manager who was less knowledgeable than me? Why then some of the less knowledgeable managers didn't treat me badly? Could it be the typical mean girls ways some experience in school? his I want to be my first and last/VERY last female manager. Any constructive comment is welcome.

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