Dad of two kids under 3 and this year has been especially tough stress and work wise on me and my wife. Pandemic has hit wife particularly hard to the point she feels burnt out, anxious, unmotivated, and unexcited by plans we make. She is open to talking/therapy/getting medication to help so starting that process now. Husbands in similar situations - what medications have you seen/heard that really help in a situation like this?

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Don’t go to medicine as a first resort. Try taking a week long family vacation in nature. You take the reigns to manage kids and food etc. Let her sleep in and rejuvenate. Bring back the lazy summers we had as kids. She may be unexcited but take her through the experience.

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Yeah this is just a really really tough time when your kids are this small. And the pandemic makes it impossible. No play dates, mommy and me classes etc. The never ending cycle of child care, home making, etc. I can imagine how it feels.

I would think that therapy or meds would just be another thing to put on her plate to worry about. Especially if this is a newish issue related to kids ages and pandemic. I don’t even think it would work in the way you are expecting. It’s not a silver bullet. You could try but I think the interventions around getting her help or taking a trip would be better, faster, and more fun.

I also know how hard it is to get help from family. You sort of feel a bit of guilt about it. You get into arguments. So I would definitely recommend a professional nanny, baby sitter, maid, etc. This is the best money you can spend. Also think about nanny vs day care. The nanny can handle other things in the house, you don’t have to shuffle the kids around. It might even be less money with 2 kids.

The good thing about family is they might take your kids for a weekend or something. See if you can arrange that. Do something very distracting so you don’t worry about the kids. Maybe a weekend in Vegas or at a spa retreat or something. At a minimum you must make time for you and your wife. Get a sitter one night or even during the day on a weekend and go do something fun just the two of you.

Finally just know and tell her that these feelings are all totally normal. You must tell her that you understand and love her and support her.. this is all temporary and you are on the final lap. Pandemic will be over soon. Kids will be older soon. It will all be so much easier and more fun very soon.

Good luck!

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Is there any possibility to get help, like a nanny to give her personal time? There are also anxiety management courses that could help.

I am saying this because depression medicine is very particular to each person and situation; even the dosis are calibrated for months to each body. So, it takes months to really work.

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Yea, very similar situation with kids ages 2 and 3. Taking a serious toll. Gave them to my parents for a weekend a while back and it really helped. (For a week...then back to gloom). No answers for you but can commiserate

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Is there an option of sending your kids to daycare? Even part-time

Anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. I’m sure pharma has done well during the pandemic

Thanks for the support and commiseration everyone. We have 10 month old and 3 year old so trip away without both kids is won’t be for 4 months or so when the infant stops breast feeding. We have grandma helping w kids during week but that adds stress for my wife feeling like she needs to relieve her and help constantly. Daycare/preschool will be this fall - just still a little ways away. We do have some family help. And I do think some form of med / therapy might help her in time

I vote therapy. Having an outlet to talk to is a good first step. Worked (or at least helped) for us

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