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Two schools of thought:
- Spread them out (3+ years): gives you longer to stabilize, minimizes time both in diapers/both needing childcare/both paying tuition/both doing whatever thing that is hard
- Knock them out (<=2 year splits): maybe closer friends (with frenemy phases), lengthen that empty nest phase down the road
Ultimately, we landed on knocking them out and currently have 3 under 5. The idea of having kids in the house into our 60s did not appeal. Instead we chose utter chaos, glorious chaos
We are planned the same. Good points BCG1!
Around 2 years seemed good for us. Our kids get along super well (5 & 3) and we just had #3. Hoping they all continue getting along
I second 2 years - mine are 5 and 3 and sometimes actually get along together
Definitely 4 plus years!! Avoid having to pay 2 college tuitions in one year.
Seriously, the gap worked out great for us. Gives you more space to appreciate the differences and the older one will actually be older. Cool dynamics
Solution: Don’t have kid(s)
I’m going for 6 year gap - can’t even imagine a baby right now
Mine are 2 years apart, and I like it that way. But I probably would have liked it any way. Don't overthink it.
Really depends on how many kids total you plan to have and your wife’s aspirations. We had our kids quickly and wife stayed home and is now having difficulty re-entering the workforce. Think on a 20 year horizon and see what fits.
2-3 years is ideal. They will bond and play well together
Or both. That’s how they bond. My brother and I were 2 years apart. At any given one, there was a “main dynamic.” Basically, best buds as little kids, annoying tagalong through middle school, best buds again in high school. So we got some of both.
This is why we decided to have 3, to make the dynamic more... dynamic. Constantly shifting alliances, alternative playmate when one sib is being a pill, etc
4
I have four with 3-4 years in between
My wife and I kept our many kids close in age. 1-2 years. I love it but it is hard work. Our kids are best friends and love each other.
My 2 kids were born 20 months apart and they are enjoying each other’s company very much.Well if I think about tuition may not look good as Partner1 mentioned above !!! Better to think within your family and see what choice is good for a happy life for all !!!!