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offers to pay. Also, I appreciate the fact that he’s always trying to accommodate my schedule, needs, and sloppiness. I think in a relationship it’s best to not keep tabs so much. I’m fortunate to have the financial resources to do a lot of things (still a peasant in Fishbowl standards but I’m content for now), and he’s in a stable position as well, just that he has financial obligations that I don’t have. I had never been with someone who’s so calm and chill yet fun to be around. I would say that I do believe in keeping finances separate though (both of us were burned before and my ex maxed out his credit cards and tried to apply for loans before after we split). I didn’t specify last time but I think most are under the impression that we just began dating. We’ve been seeing each other for a little while now (about a year). I never knew about the unspoken matter that if a woman pays for the first dates it’s likely that she’s not interested. The situation was a little different though (big confession time)— He wasn’t my direct report but I was his boss’s colleague and we worked closely together. We liked each other and he asked me out. We went out but I grabbed the check. And then I kept grabbing the check because since then I promoted again, and then got another better paying job. He has moved up with another company since, but I still out earn him (I’m much younger and ambitious, which he likes and is motivated to keep climbing the ladder. And at the same time he supports me to keep striving for what I want, whereas in the past my ex tried to hold me down due to insecurities and desire to just work barely enough for an ordinary life. There’s nothing wrong with that but that’s not me). I’m learning to let him take the check more often now. But I will still stay true to myself and be myself because I don’t mind. He takes good care of me and makes me really happy. I think one of my problems is that I also don’t want him to think I’m just another young girl (not that young but I’m still clinging to being in my 20s lol) who wants to be taken care of. I’m capable of taking care of myself and the ones I care about. He’s great with my family and friends. Our chemistry/intimacy is unbelievable, and he’s not the jealous/controlling type which is very important to me.
Everyone treats relationships differently and I think for the most part there’s no right or wrong (not all instances; for women who don’t believe women should ever pay, that I disagree unless she’s a full time stay at home wife). We can all find someone who’s compatible with us and agrees with the way of life/preferences. I came to terms with how the majority of the problem lies in me and if I want change, I need to work on myself because my guy doesn’t have a problem with picking up the tabs (we talked about it).
I wish all of you happiness!
Rising Star
Think OP is just showing fishbowl users from other post that she is content being the higher income partner and paying which is great. No one should keep tabs. Because we all put our years energy sweat and fluids in relationships. But I take money seriously cause I’m a bit greedy by nature and frugal by choice (best way to be wealthy) so even though I put effort and love into relationships I would face difficulty in paying all the time. If I had to pay always I would go to cheaper places and get us groceries and we can cook together. If she complains because she knows I go to fancy restaurants w parents and good places with friends once in a while then I’ll say…well let’s go Dutch then, otherwise we can cook a beautiful spagetti or even salmon or you’re getting the boot
There is no should. Everyone has an opinion on this. What is yours?