How big of a red flag is this? I got a corp dev job offer requiring relocation. HR said I’d have six months (I will take three) to move and could start remotely, but the hiring manager wants me on-site 75% of the time right away, citing fairness to others. It feels odd—possibly a red flag. I’m fine working on-site 100% of the time, but at least let me relocate first. Have small children who are finishing up the school year and an infant. Am I thinking about this wrong?

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Get everything in writing. Making the others on the team warm and fuzzy isnt your problem.

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No, you are spot on.

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Is the hiring manager is your boss? If not, who cares what they think after you accept, if your new boss is cool with the arrangement.
The employees there will not care at all that you are remote since they know you are relocating. Don’t let the hiring manager claim bs fairness.

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Yep, I’ll be directly reporting to him. So sadly, he’s my boss. I see it as a huge red flag around group culture.

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Why not just talk to the hiring manager and agree upon details? It sounds like the boundaries are between what HR agreed to and what the hiring manager wants. I would think that a reasonable request of being there full time once you relocated would likely be acceptable. I'd explain to the manager that it will take you 90 days (or whatever is reasonable) to get your family and you packed up and relocated, and that once that is complete you will be happy to comply. I'm assuming that where you currently live is a different city, making interim commuting unrealistic. I don't think it's a red flag to want you in the office unto itself without additional context.

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Just say you accepted on the basis of the hr agreement (if so, and this was agreed before acceptance). If he says no, and continues being an ahole then don’t accept, honestly. Imagine how you’ll work with this person and for this person. Explain your personal situation!

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Don’t sabotage a possibility good thing here for you. This doesn’t sound like a concern about fairness. There is a concern behind the request, and given his departure from HR’s position, it is most likely a personal fear, which he doesn’t know how to address with you.

Him wanting you on site 75% of the time means that they want you traveling to the site every week. I suggest agreeing to it at first. Get there and build your relationship with the on site team. Find your second in command on site who you can trust when you are not there. Let your boss see that you have this handled. And he will accommodate. This should take about 2-3 weeks. Then you can be mostly remote with parachuting in occasionally, leaving you with more time at home with the littles.

Understand from his perspective, and this goes for any senior level leader, hiring a mid level leader or even a front line leader can be unnerving. No matter how impressive they are or how good of a fit they are, there is always uncertainty in how that leader will show up on the job. Take this as an opportunity to win a fan in your boss :)

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