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I don’t think you always can and, in many cases, I’m not sure that it would be a good idea anyway. You spend perhaps half of your waking hours at work; work should include at least some of your support network. At a cynical level, it’s in “work’s” best interests to help and support you; that’ll make you more productive. In the longer term, their support will be a positive influence in your life and win your loyalty.
One of my direct reports was clearly shy/embarrassed at telling me that she had problems involving her children. It was clear to me that these were genuine concerns. My immediate response was “If you need to leave the office for a couple of hours then just go. The team and I will cover for you. Family is more important than work.” We didn’t have to tell the team all the details, and they were immediately supportive. I did have to explain myself to my nearly-irate manager but she eventually calmed down and agreed with my action.
Once things calmed down, that member of my team was clearly working longer hours whenever she could. I told her that she did need to but she was genuinely keen to get projects over the finish-line. As her manager, I matched her longer hours so she wasn’t shouldering work-challenges alone. That only strengthened our work relationship.
A good manager supports and champions members of their team through thick and thin. At least consider giving your manager, or perhaps even their manager, the opportunity to support you. You may well be pleasantly surprised!
Outside of work events (aka life) will affect work, and work events will affect outside of work.
Your life is more important than work. Work is just work; never define your life by your work.
Things happen during life that affect work; hopefully, your boss and team are understanding and know the situation is not permanent.
Remember never devote yourself fully to work. If they want “100%,” the make your personal 50% equal to their 100%.