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I have become more driven for me, instead of being driven for my agency. I work really hard, and in return insist on the flexibility I need. I’m lucky - I haven’t had to insist very hard. But I also produce, consistently, whether I’m at home or at the office. And I don’t apologize for what I need to make my family work.
I really feel like I’m working for my daughter and #2 on the way, so when I am home I try to tell my daughter a bit about what I do all day and why I go to work (my husband works at home so she’s not as curious about him). As a result she’s been asking to “meet the client” since she was two and a half. 🤣🤣 That makes it mentally easier for me - she knows what I do and why I do it, and accepts it as an (exciting) part of life.
It’s such a tricky one, isn’t it?
I got pregnant accidentally and quite young, when my career was just starting to take shape. It wasn’t ideal timing, but it didn’t derail my career as much as I thought it would.
I totally agree with the poster above - be inflexible about flexibility! If you know your work is of a high standard, and you can be trusted to work where/when/how you want to and still meet your deadlines, then talk to your employer about it. It’s win-win really - if you’re able to work from home when you need to, it means you can still go to appointments or look after an unwell baby or catch up on some of that desperately needed sleep without needing to take as much time off. Less absenteeism is good for business, and means projects will still be completed on time without others having to pick up slack or having you putting in overtime to catch up on missed days.
I was raised by a single mother who worked pretty long hours. I never felt like I missed out, because when she was around, she was fully present, and I understood she worked so we had a house to live in and food to eat and toys to play with. I also knew she was proud of her work, and I was proud of her too. The work version of my mum seemed so interesting to me, and her successes are still something I’m proud of.
You don’t have to give up on your career goals or stifle your drive now that you’re a mother. Just know your priorities and don’t compromise too much on them, and you’ll go far :)