How to deal with a manager who gives super condescending feedback and likes to nitpick the smallest possible things. What is the best way to not get frustrated on call in a way that it shows because he then makes a note of it and says I’m defensive /not coachable

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Can you give him a heads up that you'll be taking notes so you might be looking down at those sometimes but you're listening? That could give you a brief second when you feel your poker face slipping.

Otherwise, I would just lean into it hard. Ask a bunch of questions - "Is this something you want to see consistently or just this time? Can I ask what about that wording you think will resonate with the client so I can keep an eye out for next time? Is there an overall tone you're looking for?"

The main goal is to actually learn that stuff and hope to not get so much feedback. A side effect is that you are putting it partly on him to teach you how to do that which is absolutely fair.

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Good luck OP! Hope it gets better. 🙂

One other thing that might help - when I started to get nitpicky feedback I eventually asked my manager what was up. He told me that it was a good sign. Getting one or two really BIG feedback items (your spreadsheet is just not calculating the right thing at all, these slides are not telling a coherent story) means that you have a lot of work to do. A good manager will continue to give you feedback even as you get closer to the mark to help develop you but there is no point saying "your bullets are inconsistent" alongside "these slides need a complete rebuild". Not sure if that sounds like what's happening here but if so, see it as a sign of progress.

Just mute him and nod your head 😂

OILS framework for feedback

Thanks saw this this is great

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