I feel like I’m drowning most days. I have 4 kids under 6 with the last two being twins less than 6mos old. I keep reeling myself that it will get better but every waking moment of my life is (cont)

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It sounds like my life and I only have 1 kid (who is under 6 months old)...

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OP, you’re not alone. Feeling guilty about it is 100% normal and expected. Why wouldn’t you be exhausted? Sure this is a season you’ll look back on fondly but that doesn’t translate here and now for anyone. That’s a sage perspective reserved for when you complain about your college tuition bill at the golf course. Til then, don’t be ashamed to take some time for yourself, you’ll show up as a better dad after that. Take your wife along if/when you can but recharging solo is required. Not recommended, required. Don’t take the whole weekend, but find something that works, that you and your wife can reciprocate to one another. Everyone has different answers to this but not taking some time for self will erode your character as a husband and father just through sheer exhaustion. Keep being honest with yourself and others, bring it before your wife at an appropriate time (trust me timing is critical on this). Commiserate together and allow it to draw you closer, not a wedge which is the default. Be strong, man, the fog does eventually lift, so they tell me

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Thanks all. I appreciate all of the responses. Intellectually I know I’m just in that lost first year. I also know that I will regret if I don’t take full advantage of every moment. In the moment though it just gets very heavy and frustrating. I wish there was some way for us to break away more but with no outside help that gets very difficult. I have looked for a part time nanny but have had trouble finding anyone that didn’t want full time. But again, thank you for all of the responses. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone.

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filled with something else to do. If I’m not at work I’m washing bottles or cleaning the house or any of the million other things that need to be done. I feel selfish for thinking this but I really need some me time back. Am I terrible for thinking this?

Trust me, the time will fly by and all of a sudden 10 years have flown by and you’ll look back at these days and smile and wish you could go back ( sometimes 😜)

I feel you OP.

Not terrible. Just normal.

OP not selfish at all. have you and your wife tried any avenues that will make your lives easier (eg weekly cleaning service, nanny a couple Saturday nights a month, etc)? I know these cost money but could lighten the load on both of you so you can take a breather from time to time

You got this. It’s tough but you got what it takes.

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