I just had to PIP someone for the first time, and I think I’m more stressed about it than they are. I remember being the struggling junior who needed a break, so putting someone on a formal path to exit feels like I’m betraying my younger self. Does it ever get easier to deliver bad news without losing sleep over it?

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You threatened someone’s job and made this about you? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If you know they just need a break like you did, why not meet them half way, and try support them?

likefunnyhelpfulsmartuplifting

This would be funny if wasn’t so on point.

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Before a PIP is ever introduced, the question should be: did this person receive the support they needed to succeed? That includes clear expectations, proper training, and consistent coaching. Without that foundation, a PIP risks setting someone up for failure rather than improvement.

At its best, a PIP should be a structured opportunity for growth, not a signal of exit. It should create clarity, rebuild alignment, and give the individual a fair path to improve.

Using a PIP as an exit strategy without genuine effort undermines trust and reflects more on leadership than the individual. We are all human, and strong organizations lead with accountability, but also with fairness and intention.

likehelpfulsmart

A PIP is always a tool for structured dismissal. You can’t dress it up as anything else.

likesmart
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Doesn't matter what you feel or how you think, I have never seen a pip be used for true mentorship.

I agree with those who said : just give them an extended notice period to quit.

You or any company doesn't do anyone any favours by giving them false hope.

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They put their own job in jeopardy.

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By the time a PIP comes into play I have offered retraining, tried to understand if personal issues are impacting work, made expectations clear, etc...I lose no sleep.

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PIP is not firin. what is the issue?

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Reading all of this makes me think that the mindset that the OP currently has is probably exactly the same as that which newbie Mafia recruits probably have when they have to whack someone for the first time in their lives. Or the same as that of young, freshly-recruited members of the Einsatzgruppen within the Waffen SS back in WW2 when they were forced by their superiors to commit their first execution of prisoners in the Nazi death camps. Yeah, the first time both of these groups are forced to carry out the killings, they simply can’t stomach the horror of committing such a horrible act and they end up vomitting🤮 all over the the place after pulling the trigger.

However, give it a couple of months or an year of committing these murders and by the 10th time, they can probably do it even while eating a sandwich or smoking a cigarette as calmly a cavalier as can be.


Don’t worry, OP…you feel bad about putting your employee on a PIP now but give it a couple of months or a year of issuing more PIPs. Corporate America will mold you into becoming a perfect executioner who’ll be able to issue PIPs with so much ease, you could probably go out for a beer or laugh with your colleagues only minutes after completely destroying someone’s entire life. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman will be proud that you will be “born again hard”. Capitalism rocks! 🎊 🎉 🎈

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“A formal path to exit” is diabolical!!!! Leaders don’t think like such especially if the plan is solid and a collaboration amongst all parties involved!!! Additionally I don’t look at delivering a PIP as delivering bad news unless there are not measures in place for employees to independently review metric performance. 

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Yes, easier but not "easy" IMO. The very best thing you can do: Give them frequent and honest feedback, so they're not genuinely surprised by a PIP or a performance review. It's makes it easier on you, but it's also fairer to them.

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Interesting to see someone state “put them on a formal path to exit. These are usually wrapped up in the guise of ”support plans”! Often with fluffy unachievable targets, that are poorly written.
There used to be genuine development plans and career paths, these also included training and support and management teams that cared about their employees and empowering them to succeed.

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I once got a PIP that was generated from a review of a completely incompetent (and previously fired) manager. It included a statement that I "Took too long in the bathroom." Which was removed as soon as I pointed out the stupidity of this point. I suspect they wanted to reduce the headcount, which was reduced to 0 shortly after anyway.

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The PIP doesn't have to be an exit path unless the employee isn't able to or want to make the cut. In any case, use this an opportunity to coach or mentor. Alternatively, would you put your job on the line because they weren't able to perform? If this were a medical position, would you place a patient's life on the line without seeing noticeable improvement?

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If they are more stressed about it than you are, then they already see the writing on the wall -- whether they don't see themself as a good fit, or they are burned out and figure why not get paid a little longer while they find another job.
In my case, I was also PIP'ed for BS reasons. The official version: I was not delivering features as described in the requirements, which is funny because all my PRs required approvals from my tech lead, so if my implementation was the wrong way to go, then why approve it? The unofficial reason is I had a strong disagreement with one of my manager's favorite person, and she complained about it.
Bottom line: PIP is just a way for companies to protect themselves from wrongful termination lawsuits.

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Various comments mention "a PIP happens when a company has already decided to fire someone, the company is just covering its bases in case there's a lawsuit". I understand that argument, but it was not my experience at all.

I was on a PIP in 2009, just a few months after joining the company. It was super stressful. Whoa I was so stressed. But my manager made it clear that the company had invested a bunch of money in me already, and the goal was not to fire me but let me stay if I managed to complete the tasks on the plan. He laid out all the tasks that had to be completed, the deadlines, he tried to help where he could, and he was following up regularly. In the end, when I managed to complete everything he showed some appreciation and looked genuinely happy. I stayed at the company 5 more years and that PIP was never mentioned by any manager, and I never talked about it to anyone until right now.

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As time goes on, leadership becomes easier with experience. Always remember—your role as a leader or manager is to help the company run effectively.

When someone isn’t pulling their weight, it doesn’t just impact them—it puts extra responsibility on the rest of the team. Over time, this can lower team morale and cause others to question your leadership.

It’s important to address these issues early. Don’t wait too long—have a verbal conversation, follow up with documentation, and give the employee a fair opportunity to improve before moving to a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP).

A PIP should not be seen as punishment, but as a tool to help the team member succeed and improve.

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The fact that they aren't stressed out about it as much is probably symptomatic of why you needed to put them on a PIP. Don't think of the PIP as a formal path to exit, but as a formal path to helping them improve with an option for them to decide not to. You can't make someone step up to the roll, but you can make sure the exit is truly about their decisions.

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You should feel guilty.

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I've been in this same situation. I tried coaching an employee for a year, but they weren't improving. I decided to let the person go, but before I was allowed to, HR required a formal PIP, not caring about all the notes I've taken over the previous year. I felt awful to put that employee through that process after I had already made the decision.

Another leader helped me not feel so guilty about the decision by explaining that that engineer is an adult and had plenty of feedback. They chose to continue their behavior and not grow. You are only betraying your younger self if you didn't actually give this person a solid chance and provided them actionable feedback that they could have used to get better.

You may be losing sleep because you care. But if you did everything in your power, it's on them for not improving, not on you for taking action.

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Maybe you need some training in real life experience? Bid deal, a PIP. It means they'll kick you out, and they give you time to find your next job. That's it. Enjoy it. Also, you can stop doing anything for them, they'll get rid of you anyway. And even if you do anything for them, nobody will appreciate it (once I heard how a couple of managers were amazed by my integrity, while preparing to get rid of me next week). Don't perceive your employment as your life.

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Why bother with the drama of a PIP? Just cut the cord quickly and fire them. Don’t ridicule and drag them through the mud

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I had always thought a PIP was supposed to be a way to help a poorly performing person improve their performance, not a this is how bad you are,

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That's not what it is anymore. It's a way for HR to protect themselves in case you try to come after them for wrongful termination. After 2010, if you are put on a pip it's a way for them to tell you that you are about to get fired. It's about a 3-month head start

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It's easier to do once you realize the potential effects on others (including yourself) of not doing it.

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