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Bless you PMs.
Do you find your job intellectually challenging?
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I know exactly what you mean. For me, it’s all about balance and making sure that the main areas of your life are getting their due attention, but how does this actually happen? If you want to be able to make significant progress in all the important areas of your life (work, relationships, health, finances, etc) you need to switch from being task-oriented to outcome-oriented. With this project you’ve taken on, you need to ask yourself “what are we really trying to accomplish here?” And why are we trying to do this? Once you really know the answers to that, you can begin to creat a list of things that need to happen or things you can do to achieve that outcome. It’s also true that 20% of the tasks we knock out will give us 80% of the outcome we’re after, so really look at your list of “how’s” and prioritize what can get you closest to the outcome you’re after. From there, leverage other people as much as possible to work on the important priorities asynchronously if possible.
This also goes for you and your partner’s relationship. What are you after with that relationship? Why do you want that? How can you accomplish that outcome? It’s true that your schedule may not be as accommodating to spending the same amount of time, but when I use this approach, I find that the time I have with my wife is much more intentional, concentrated, and meaningful which fills her up emotionally.
Honestly, I use this approach for my life and I literally have found a way to balance a full time job, a side project, 5 kids, a puppy, learning to speak another language, and a 9 year marriage.
Is this a temporary project or is this how your job is going to continue to take up your free time? I would try to be more intentional with the free time that you currently have to let your partner know you are committed to the relationship. But if this is going to be an ongoing thing, I would try and work with your company to see how you can maybe set some boundaries on your time. I've seen too many relationships end because of work and if it's someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, it's just not worth it IMO
I beleive in the "work smarter". You can acomplish more without extending the amount of hours you work.
Gold rule for me: avoid meetings as much as posible. If imposible to avoid, a meeting should be short, with just the people that need to be there, and with clear objectives.
Using kanban is also useful. Limit the size of the doing list, make sure you only do the work really needed and that will bring the most impact.
Delegate as much as posible, automate as much as posible (for example reports), if a task no longer seem important or with impact, drop it even if it is not finished. Just focus on what brings impact.
Be aware that you being sane and with a clear mind is of the most importance. So, when sun comes down, "drop the pencil" and go have a good life. Rest, have fun, enjoy your non working time.
Dont extend the hours you are working. Instead challenge the way you work to make sure you work smarter every day. :)
Would love to join SAP in NYC. Hmm how is the Signavio acquisition?