I started a new job as an “office manager” at the end of January. The duties seem to align more with those of an EA, and I’m ok with that. Except my boss is a control freak. He scolds me over every little thing, how I load the dishwasher, maybe I didn’t push my chair in. Last week he told me I needed to work on my appearance. I was shocked. I bought all new clothes from Ann Taylor that are perfectly acceptable for business casual. He hates me. Move on ASAP or try to stick it out ?

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Am I the only one who would run for the hills?Work on your appearance? That sounds unethical and definitely inappropriate.

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Red flag. If he’s done this to you, he’s probably got a history with others. Sit him down and talk to him directly about the behavior. And if that doesn’t work, roll the problem up to his manager and/or HR. That’s not how you talk to anyone. And also make a plan to leave and execute when ready.

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I would not attempt talking to him since you are so new. It’s likely you are not the first person he has don’t this too and probably not the only person he still is, but being that your so new if no one else have ever approached him (which even if they have it clearly didn’t work) he’s not going to take you seriously and instead will probably just try to replace you. I would instead bring this to HR’s attention and try to let them deal with it another way maybe through an exec coach where they will take an anonymous survey of those he works with and try to train him on his I’ll behaviors in a less abrupt approach than you as his somewhat new direct report

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Oh I feel for you! I have been in a similar situation. Do you know how long the previous office managers were in that role? I agree you shouldn’t try talking to him. I’ve found that sort of scolding can take a toll on your mental health. You might want to consider looking for another job.

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Run as fast as you could. He doesn’t deserve you or any EA for that matter.

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He sounds very controlling in a lot of ways. Does he also scold you for other (EA-type) work? I used to support someone who "scolded" for all kinds of things and decided to start a soft search to find something else.

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Wow, I’m so sorry this is happening to you! Do you know why the previous people in the role left? Unfortunately it seems like you are going to have to start looking again. Good luck

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She was here 19 years! The person before her was here 3 weeks. She must have been very special to put up with his demands (no visible food in the dishwasher)

WTH? He can be the boss but that doesn’t give anyone the right to scold or reprimand ANYONE. You can sit him down and explain his micromanaging is helping no one.
If he doesn’t like how you load the dishwasher, I’m sure he knows he can do it himself.

I’ve had ppl like this and it took me being direct to get it to stop.

I understand you’re fairly new and ppl need a bit of time to trust them to handle things. But come on!

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