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You can still grow your career as a mom! It takes a lot of multi-tasking and organization, but I’m seven years in as a single mom and it’s not always easy, but surround yourself with people that will support you and you will be amazed at what you can accomplish.
It’s not easy, but you can do it. You’ll need your village of support including a number of babysitters. My kids go to day care and then a sitter picks them up and provides dinner. If I travel, the sitter will do baths etc. too. Also outsource everything you can including cleaning, laundry, and grocery delivery.
Hopefully you’ll also find a boss and team that allow for you to alternate prioritizing work and your family. They are out there. Good luck!
100% this - it will take a village. And also your demonstrating (when you are ready) that your ambition is there, it’s clear in your work quality etc, and others see it. Find an advocate/sponsor in Mgmt who supports you. Mom of 3 here and it’s doable.
Here’s the radical honesty. You can absolutely get promoted if you don’t let your parenting affect your work. This means taking all the travel and working as late as all the childless people. Even if you come in 2 hours before them and work more efficiently, promotions are about optics as much as they are about performance. Now if you take the route I took, drawing hard boundaries about office hours, not going to team evening outings, limiting travel to essential trips, you’ll be the most reliable workhorse in the house but you will not be promoted. I know many women in my position. Extremely talented and reliable, sitting at the same title for 6-10 years.
This is how the industry is today. Women can be promoted, if they play the game that men created. But I do hope eventually (and some companies are leading this charge) that the industry will change to be more sustainable. But as long as people are still arguing on Twitter that 80 hour work weeks are the only way to be successful, we have a long way to go.
AD 1, where do you work and are you hiring? :)
You can totally grow your career as a mom! I was a director when I was pregnant with my first, was promoted while pregnant to vp. Was promoted to svp while pregnant with my second to svp and made it to c-suite with two little kids. Husband works full time too. Both kids are in daycare and we alternate on how to manage. A lot of open communication and planning / organization. It is 100% doable— hard but once you get into the ebb and flow, totally manageable.
I think a lot depends on the agency and how truly supportive and understanding they are of working parents. Either way it’s not easy, but if your passion still lies in the work and the people you work with, it makes it a lot easier. I will also not sugar coat that after a kid, your perspective changes so some of the typical agency BS can become less easy to swallow. Put in place a great support system including and beyond your nuclear family - you’ll need it. Be transparent about your needs. As poster above said - this can hurt in terms of optics in lot of places but it also helps protect your sanity and your family time.
But... if you are going to be 100% at work, make DAMN. SURE. you are compensated and recognized for it. I went too many years without it, and in the end it drove me to leave when my home life changed and I could no longer give it all I had without adequate comp
You can do this. Two small kids and a working husband. Been promoted since having them and am up again this year. Make the most of the time you do have with the kids. Hire help. Throw guilt out the window!
It’s totally possible but couldn’t agree more with posters who hit on the importance of the support you have around you and the culture of your agency. If you don’t know If yours will support your professional growth as a parent, and that matters to you (understandably), consider finding somewhere that does.
My agency is intense, but also very focused on quality and outcomes. If you are delivering in those two areas, you’ll find a ton of flexibility to WFH when you need to, move meetings to accommodate pick ups, take a different flight or train bc you want to see your kids before being out of town for a couple days, taking a day when you just didn’t get enough sleep. It makes total sense, but I realize it’s not necessarily the norm.
I never ever use my children (I have three) as a reason why I don’t deliver (on schedule, at a certain quality, etc) but have no problems making logistical adjustments to try and balance parenting and work best that I can. It’s far from perfect but it works. And I feel like being a parent gives me more energy/instinct for prioritizing what matters and what gets tackled when.
But also, outsource. We have a wonderful nanny. We pay people to clean our house bc that would NEVER make it to the top of my to-do list. I have groceries delivered.
Also - your company has to be committed to some give and take. If they aren’t, take a walk - I can tell you this from deep personal experience
I have two kids and a working spouse and we are making it work. I left the bigger agency world and started my own agency so I would have more control over my schedule and better work/life balance. I’m so glad I did that, my “mom guilt” reduced drastically. Feels pretty badass because I’ve learned how to build my own business on top of it all. You can do it!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻I’m looking you up!
Love love love this thread. I am going back to work soon after baby #2 and had the same concern. I rarely see moms of 2 or more kids with two working parents, so this reassuring. I think the first few years we’ll be spending a lot of money on outsourcing and convenience ( instacart, prime etc) and less on travel, luxury shopping or fancy dinners.
I’m VP and I just had my third baby. For me, it’s been doable with lots of help from my family and a spouse who helps carry the load (though I have to tell him what I need him to do). We also spend a large amount on a good nanny and make sure she stays happy. It’s hard but doable.
Thanks for the response. And congrats on your success and kiddos!
I’m expecting and we can’t afford to live on my salary alone. I’m nervous about my upward mobility when I become a parent. Is this the beginning of the end for my career at agencies? Any advice on how I can still work our way up the ladder with a young family while my partner remains focused on their career too?
I got promoted at 6 months pregnant and again a year PP at one of the top three largest agencies. As long as your drive is still there it's entirely possible. My child is in daycare full time and the daycare closes at 6:30 which gives me time to finish up work before I leave. Her dad and I take turns picking her up. If I have to work late he goes, we also have her grandma as a back up.
Gotta add a slightly different perspective to this thread. While you can do what you need to do to stay committed to work, clock the hours, outsource home duties, work under the right leadership who understands and supports balance, push yourself to persevere when burn out crops up, one thing you absolutely also have to do is not neglect your marriage. I’ve spent 10 years raising a set of multiples, one with special needs, and checked all the boxes on all the things the very smart Moms suggest on this thread. Spouse has an executive-level position requiring over 75% global travel. At the end of too many days, I had nothing left to give my spouse after I gave all my energy to keep all the balls in the air. My 15 year marriage has taken a big hit because of it. All the sections of the grass need water.