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Wishing you all the strength and wisdom ahead! Buddhist scriptures say that illness opens the way to a deeper understanding of the self, and to finding true happiness in life.
In that vein, worry less about how it is received but how you wish to deal with it. I’d start with the closest allies at the firm. They’ll understand that only you have the right to control the volume on this, and should be working with you to keep it private while maintaining space for your treatment and recovery.
Win. Soon. Completely.
I like this advice. I would add on that the next practical step may be to reach out to HR. You can ask them for information on firm support via employee benefits (medical leave, reduced hours, etc.) and maybe also ask for advice on how to bring this up to partners and when. They may even offer to join you in those conversations and help facilitate. Not sure if you’d want that or not, but just a thought!
Omgg I am so sorry to hear that. Wishing you all the very best!!!!
I’m so sorry. I’m sure that is really scary and upsetting. I hope you have a strong support network in place.
I would tell your firm when you have a few more answers about what the treatment plan looks like and what kind of support you are going to need. I haven’t had to deal with cancer but I did have a major accident that required 5 surgeries in 6 months and hundreds of physical therapy visits. There was no hiding the situation until I was ready to tell because I couldn’t walk. My firm was incredibly supportive through it all. I think you will find that as bad as lawyers can be at times, firms are really pretty generous and supportive when there are terrible circumstances like this. Thankfully I’ve only had to deal with this one situation but I’ve seen other firms act similarly. Quite frankly they get it better than most big corporations do in my view.
Good luck with your treatments and I hope it all goes as well as it possibly can.
Wishing you well and rooting for you! I don’t personally have experience dealing with something like this but my first instinct is to tell the partners I’m closest to. If you have an office manager or HR person in the office, check with them about your options. It’s always easier said than done in this profession, but important to emphasize that your health and healing is utmost priority. Godspeed, and take care.
Here’s how the news was received at my firm:
I told the partner I work closely with my diagnosis once all the testing was completed. His eyes watered and he was speechless. No hugs, just I’m sorry “what can I do?” I told him to not tell the managing partner until I had my treatment plan from my physicians. Two days later I had all my appointments and told him to tell the managing partner. A few days later I went to HR and applied for FMLA. The news went viral. I suspected it would. My colleagues heard the news from HR. My work load was transferred the several junior associates. My eventual return from FMLA took longer than I expected due to pain and the client contracts disallow the use of narcotics by the firm. The firm did allow me to work from home when I could after my PTO was used up and FMLA was expired. What I didn’t know at the time that I do now is you have to plan on how much energy it is going to take to get through each day. There’s no pushing through the fatigue, no I can work one more hour and have the energy to drive home. You are in a fight for your life. Choose your healthcare team wisely. Having cancer is expensive. I went to MD Anderson in Houston, Texas. I live in Florida. I know it’s scary but you will make it through. There are people at your firm who will support you. Don’t fear asking for help, it makes people happy to help. Stay strong.
This is very true about having to budget energy. I tried to work as much as possible during chemo because I was afraid of running out of FMLA and losing my health insurance. The fatigue is like nothing else. It can sneak up suddenly and flatten you. I had to learn to commit to far less than I thought I could handle, because as accommodating as the partners were, they were (understandably) less than thrilled when I said I could handle certain projects and then had to renege.
I don’t have personal experience directly having cancer but my spouse was diagnosed when I was a third year and now unfortunately has had a metastatic recurrence (ie stage 4) - I’m a sixth year now. echo those here that people are more supportive than you might think. Regardless, sincerely wishing you all the best and happy to DM about my own experiences.
I’m so very sorry to hear this. You will have a lot of support. I can tell you that at one firm, we had a full 20% who had a cancer diagnosis. I found that data shocking, but it is on its way to becoming a chronic illness was to be managed. Please go to your benefits team asap. You will want to know (assuming you are on firm benefits) what % of full time you need to work to stay on health insurance, what your leave options are, and what hospitals and providers are on-network, among other things. Most firms are generous and compassionate. Also, it is better to take time off when needed than to let performance decline. Ask a lot of questions and get second opinions. Good luck! And take care of your mental health too. Go easy on yourself.
As an employee, you go through HR the benefits team will let you know for what you’re eligible; may have your provider complete some paperwork for FMLA, and/or accommodations if needed. The partners will learn eventually and hopefully treat you decently, ethically and legally.
I can’t even begin to imagine. I’m so sorry. Praying for the best possible outcome medically and emotionally speaking.
I ‘d just tell them . Rest is very important