I’m struggling a lot between my career ambition and my mental health as a mom. I find I’m getting passed over for opportunities at work because I’m “too busy” with my day to day plus family. But the reality is that yes, I am. I can honestly feel the shift happening where I care less about my future ambition because it feels like I can’t have both or at least both the way I once envisioned it and I’m also not willing to give up my time as a mom. (More in comment)

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I literally just went offline and told my whole team I needed to take over for my husband who’s been watching our infant since 9, bec I had back to back meetings. I cry. All. The. Time. Exhausted. Feel like shit. Resentful of people who get to pursue things outside of work/momming

I dunno. We’re def not alone. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t keep it up so I’m going to be honest and just lay it out there. Some people may say I’m an idiot. Maybe I am but I’m fried.

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I feel this so much.

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I’m guessing I’m not alone.
But importantly, are there companies that are making arrangements or changes that allow for more opportunities for moms? Like setting more realistic deadlines and planning ahead to allow for working parents to be included? Or what else are companies doing or could they do to not push the working moms/parents aside for single or kid-less “always on” employees.

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Not alone. I totally got mommy-tracked at my agency. Less travel, less pitch opportunities, etc. compared to my child-less counterparts.

I do not think it was intentional at all. I think it was implicit bias because I'm a solo mom. Or maybe it was intentional because they were caretaking (I'd been there 9 years when I left).

Either way, I found a different role at a different company that lets me control my world more effectively. There is other BS (like being a female at a male dominated company), but in general, they respect my agency as a parent to make the choices that are right for me.

Also the move was a bump up, because it became clear to me I was never going to make VP staying there.

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I was just going to post something similar. I just had my first child and prior I was very focused and devoted to my career. Working 90 hr weeks. Raising my hand for more. Always being available. I couldn’t see myself ever putting my job in the backseat when it came to having kids. Boy was I wrong. literally the second I held my baby my mindset completely changed. I’m almost done with my maternity leave and everyone I’ve talked to about balance says to make boundaries and to think about the job as a way to provide your family with a home, food, vacations, extras, comfy life etc. which I totally understand. But what I wrestle with is the fact he’s already changing so much each day and while I want to provide him with the best life I also don’t want to do it at the expense of missing his life bc I’m working all the time. I feel like a bit of a traitor for even thinking that way with all the working moms around me and I feel a little bit like the only one that feels that way.

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Oh same. I’m feel so ambitious but things are going to take longer for me than it used to.

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