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Chief
Somebody say layoffs?
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Pro
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There are a lot of personal factors that are at play here. You seem like you need order in your life to feel sane. (My wife is the same and I have an anxiety disorder among other things). Unfortunately you will have to figure out how to prioritize your life at work and at home. I encourage you to try therapy also. I spent 16 years in the army, including 27 months total in Iraq before I was forced to do it. I thought it would show weakness and I didn’t want to seem incapable amongst my peers.
Also, you’re still very young. Take lessons from the stress/struggle. It makes you “harder” and more capable of dealing with stress.
Lastly, do something every day that sucks. It could be a work out, a run, reading 20 pages or even getting out of bed. But you have to stress your self to deal with the bullshit of the real world.
Feel free to DM me if you have questions or just want to talk. I’ve been there.
Oh, and if your boss sucks at communicating, you gotta tell them or the problem will remain. They can’t fix what they don’t know is broken.
Chief
I'll be straight with you unlike everyone else. Don't choose consulting if you can't handle what you stated above.
When you have that mentality and always have more to give than others… organizations will gladly take it until you have nothing left to give. They know you hold yourself to higher standards, therefore their expectations of you will always be higher than the others who are nonchalant.
Pro
I have a friend who quit my firm, who has a similar issue to yours. He is an excellent consultant, but he struggled with personal stuff for exactly the same reason. What I understand he realized is that he doesn’t need to be a consultant to lead the lifestyle he prefers. It’s just about what important for you and what you are willing to sacrifice to get it. After a few years, you get a little more comfortable with ambiguity and a little more efficient at prioritizing and getting job done. The question that you should ask yourself is whether that is necessary.
Eh, all of the "issues" you listed are the norm in consulting. Once you get used to this new normal and have more experience under your belt, it stops affecting you as much. At least that's how it is for me.
Pro
Good take, agreed. ^
You’re still pretty young OP. It just takes some time to get used to
If you want order and clarity in your work then consulting probably will not be your ideal career and there's nothing wrong with that. Even when things are going good something is on fire. I've worked with lots of great people who just didn't like the pace/practices of consulting; I still work with many of them on and off on the client side.
I'm in consulting for the exact opposite reasons, the traditional corporate ladder, rigid org structures, single project/responsibility, etc, drives me absolutely crazy.