I've had a couple of promotions over the last 2 years, and subsequently, my salary has changed quite a bit. I'm noticing some pretty significant resentment in my friends group and extended family that we spend a lot of time with.
Lots of comments about spending my husband's money (we both work, I make more now). Most of these women don't work at all, but they're snarky that I do and am successful? Yeah, I'm kinda doing it all: Work, marriage, toddler life, friends. I'm tired. 🤣 gimme a break!

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So rude to comment on how anyone else spends their money. I’d let them know you don’t appreciate their comments, but you don’t need to offer and further information or justification.

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I hate that you’re dealing with this. I’ve been there before. Great advice someone gave me is: “everyone can’t come.” Meaning, whatever direction you decide to take in YOUR life with YOUR family is for you…and as you level up, not everyone will be able to make the jump. Consider what boundaries you need to set and what traits you want in your friends. Edit your life ruthlessly. You’re a boss babe! You got this!

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Us strangers on the internet will support you!!!! Since you spend a lot of time with these folks, may have to come up with a retort or response for when they’re rude to keep the peace…and be prepared to not talk about work with certain groups.

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Jealousy doesn't look good on anyone.

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When anyone makes a passive aggressive comment that is meant to undermine, demean, or cause psychological harm, I ask "Are you Okay?". Many times people will digress, own their shitty comment, apologize and never do it.

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I love that, both from a protective myself place, and from an empathetic it's not always about me place <3

In the middle of all that. Wow. I’d suggest reading the book crucial conversations.

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I'll look it up!

Wow that’s awful. Sorry you’re dealing with those comments but good for you for rocking it at work!

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Thank you!

Please block all these unproductive women from your life

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I'd say something along the lines that unless they are paying your bills they really shouldn't comment on how you and your husband choose to spend your money. If that doesn't work then you needled to find people that are of your same mindset.

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Find new friends.

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Friends uplift you, not put you down for doing well. As we grow, people shift out of our lives and that’s okay!

If you’re telling them what you made/making or about how much your raises are, stop.

I’ve had people make similar comments; one was “it’s so nice that your husband lets you drive the nice car” to which I impolitely let him know who paid for the car… Money was never brought up again around that group!

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You need new friends.
I never discuss my salary with friends and family, ever. Also if friends try to push to know what I make I distance myself because it’s none of their business.

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Oh wow!! Those are very snarky comments. I had one person I used to be close to that said things like that and would throw in a “must be nice” at the end. I just distance myself from people like that.

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It's really hard maintaining friendships with women who are in a completely different place than you. It's even harder to make new friends. Everyone has their bubble of life, and it's rare to find someone who is willing and able to make room for a new friend. So to these responders who are saying to find new friends, while I somewhat agree, I'd challenge them to provide specific examples of how they did that.

I walked away from a whole life with friends from childhood with just my (then) husband and daughter to grow personally and professionally 9 years ago. He and I made friends in his Union crowd, then I walked away from horrible verbal/emotional abuse and "lost" that entire friend group during the divorce. They weren't going to serve as friends since their loyalties were to their Union brothers. I made my first close female friend this year. I was developing a friendship with a colleague over the past few years - he died in February this year.

It is so hard. Make a list of the pros and cons with the current friend group. Only you can decide if the good outweighs the bad.

Go to professional networking events. Go to industry events. Take a chance on a new friend. Meet people. It's like dating. You just keep moving forward until you find the right one.

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STOP sharing your personal growth info w these people !

You need new friends that are like you.

Any tips on how to find them and actually achieve meaningful friendship? I know many, but they are all so busy in their own lives and have established friend groups. There usually isn't a lot of room for new friends.

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