I've had a couple of promotions over the last 2 years, and subsequently, my salary has changed quite a bit. I'm noticing some pretty significant resentment in my friends group and extended family that we spend a lot of time with.
Lots of comments about spending my husband's money (we both work, I make more now). Most of these women don't work at all, but they're snarky that I do and am successful? Yeah, I'm kinda doing it all: Work, marriage, toddler life, friends. I'm tired. 🤣 gimme a break!

likefunny
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

So rude to comment on how anyone else spends their money. I’d let them know you don’t appreciate their comments, but you don’t need to offer and further information or justification.

like

I hate that you’re dealing with this. I’ve been there before. Great advice someone gave me is: “everyone can’t come.” Meaning, whatever direction you decide to take in YOUR life with YOUR family is for you…and as you level up, not everyone will be able to make the jump. Consider what boundaries you need to set and what traits you want in your friends. Edit your life ruthlessly. You’re a boss babe! You got this!

like

Us strangers on the internet will support you!!!! Since you spend a lot of time with these folks, may have to come up with a retort or response for when they’re rude to keep the peace…and be prepared to not talk about work with certain groups.

like

Jealousy doesn't look good on anyone.

like

When anyone makes a passive aggressive comment that is meant to undermine, demean, or cause psychological harm, I ask "Are you Okay?". Many times people will digress, own their shitty comment, apologize and never do it.

likehelpful

I love that, both from a protective myself place, and from an empathetic it's not always about me place <3

In the middle of all that. Wow. I’d suggest reading the book crucial conversations.

like

I'll look it up!

Wow that’s awful. Sorry you’re dealing with those comments but good for you for rocking it at work!

like

Thank you!

Please block all these unproductive women from your life

like

I'd say something along the lines that unless they are paying your bills they really shouldn't comment on how you and your husband choose to spend your money. If that doesn't work then you needled to find people that are of your same mindset.

like

Find new friends.

like

Friends uplift you, not put you down for doing well. As we grow, people shift out of our lives and that’s okay!

If you’re telling them what you made/making or about how much your raises are, stop.

I’ve had people make similar comments; one was “it’s so nice that your husband lets you drive the nice car” to which I impolitely let him know who paid for the car… Money was never brought up again around that group!

like

You need new friends.
I never discuss my salary with friends and family, ever. Also if friends try to push to know what I make I distance myself because it’s none of their business.

like

Oh wow!! Those are very snarky comments. I had one person I used to be close to that said things like that and would throw in a “must be nice” at the end. I just distance myself from people like that.

like

It's really hard maintaining friendships with women who are in a completely different place than you. It's even harder to make new friends. Everyone has their bubble of life, and it's rare to find someone who is willing and able to make room for a new friend. So to these responders who are saying to find new friends, while I somewhat agree, I'd challenge them to provide specific examples of how they did that.

I walked away from a whole life with friends from childhood with just my (then) husband and daughter to grow personally and professionally 9 years ago. He and I made friends in his Union crowd, then I walked away from horrible verbal/emotional abuse and "lost" that entire friend group during the divorce. They weren't going to serve as friends since their loyalties were to their Union brothers. I made my first close female friend this year. I was developing a friendship with a colleague over the past few years - he died in February this year.

It is so hard. Make a list of the pros and cons with the current friend group. Only you can decide if the good outweighs the bad.

Go to professional networking events. Go to industry events. Take a chance on a new friend. Meet people. It's like dating. You just keep moving forward until you find the right one.

like

STOP sharing your personal growth info w these people !

You need new friends that are like you.

Any tips on how to find them and actually achieve meaningful friendship? I know many, but they are all so busy in their own lives and have established friend groups. There usually isn't a lot of room for new friends.

Related Posts

Advice or Book recommendations on how not to get bothered by others/ friends/ peers? What they think or what they do!
Been struggling lately

like

Does anyone have any tips to maximize miles when getting married? We currently only have one card that is the same. Does it make sense to add her to all of my other cards as an authorized user? Any tips appreciated

like

I can’t get over how meaningless my life is. I feel stuck in a dark tunnel with no light at the end. I don’t know what I’m doing in life. It’s overwhelming and makes me cry over every little thing. Is it too much to ask for me to just be happy in life? I’m 26 but I feel like this is all life has to offer.

like

Family member saw me working out hard and called me a "retard" for pushing myself being at max speed and "making faces". Seriously? When you push hard, it's supposed to be - hard. No?

Best divorce lawyer in NYC?

like

My anxiety has been relatively constant during this whole wfh covid situation so I haven’t been wanting to be intimate with my partner as often. They said its bringing down their mood, any advice?

like

How open are mental health discussions in your families? Whether it be talking about your struggles or suggesting therapy to family members? Anyone done it successfully and mind sharing ideas here?

helpful

What to do when parents dig their toes into your relationship? They don't approve of who I'm with and very vocal about it.

In 10 years, this may be in the rear view or they may not let up. Anyone with experience in this?

like

How can I approach my boyfriend who has an alcohol problem to help him get healthier ?

like

What games, toys, or science kits would you recommend for a kid who’s showing an interest in the sciences?

like

Is bfs account Contract get extended or they simply release and we get bach to parent (cts), for another project is complete bgv happening or they just handle from their side?

like

Anyone else struggling with hormones / mood swings? I am almost 16 weeks and been having a real tough time lately, feeling really down and stressed about things. Sadly, causing tension between me and my partner as well as he cannot relate and seems preoccupied with business as usual. Trying to get out the funk and just telling myself it’s all the hormones.

My family/friends ask me for store discounts all the time. It's really uncomfortable to say no, but I have to. Any tips on how to handle these conversations?

like

I was devastated when I realized I had to cut my twin sister and even my mom to some degree out of my life in order to have peace of mind. It makes me sad I feel better without their burdens. ☹️

likehelpful

Is there a polite/gentle way to talk to your boyfriend about the fact that he has gained a lot of weight in the past year and needs more physical activity in his life?

I am not a very shallow person — he was already on the heavier side when we met. But when I look at photos from just a year ago, it’s clear he’s put on a lot of weight. I am worried about his health. I don’t want to overstep or make him feel insecure. Just wondering if anyone else has ever been here.

like

Why can’t my exes leave me alone

like

How do you correct bad aspects in your character that you unconsciously got from your parents?

likehelpful

I’m hoping to steer clear of any scams by posting & I know it’s been posted before but, again, scams. Anyway, I am looking for something that can be done remotely on nights and weekends after I get home from my daily in-office job. My sister passed away & I’m now helping raise her kids. With Christmas coming, I’m nervous and dreading the season not only to not have her but will I make it a happy one for the kids. I need extra income but need to be home with them in the evenings.

like

My uncle I met a week ago suddenly died. He hid his heart condition from his wife, my aunt. He was having tea in the morning when he had a stroke. She did not have a last word or consider the possibility that he’d pass away so suddenly and soon. She is beating herself up over how he left and they didn’t have a chance to talk that morning. Fishes, sharing this so you call your loved ones today and not take people for granted.

likeuplifting

I might get a lot of shade for this but tbh I never understood the hype of big fours. I feel I would have just been a slave there. Why would anyone trade their time and time with family for slave hours and money that you could make having your own thing or somewhere else? Everybody sounds miserable at big fours. What’s ur take?

like

More Posts

Hi data engineers !!

I am recently switching my domain from data analyst to data engineering..I am not that good in programming..Can anyone tell me how much programming is needed for day to day work as a data engineer..??

like

Cheers to the weekend!

Post Photo
like

What all methods to save tax on a 22 LPA salary (fixed including PF both employer and employee) apart from standard 80C, NPS, insurance and home loan, etc

like

I have 32k miles with THY that are about to expire. Normally I'd go ahead and book a flight, but I can't project which countries might be locked down again 5-6 months from now (haven't accrued enough PTO to travel in near future). The only other way to keep the miles is to pay $10 per 1000 miles, as far as I know. Are there other strategies?

like

What should I be making? approximately 8 years consulting experience, approximately 7 years small business ownership experience, a MA degree (not entirely related to job). Little managerial experience in consulting, but biz dev experience and high performer with multiple promotions. Range?

like

Thinking about transitioning from advertising (10 years as a copywriter) into public relations. Has anyone in this bowl done that? What types of roles should I be looking for?

Help me to choose between the following 2 options

EY GDS : Home location Kolkata + x lpa Fixed + 50k joining bonus + 70k variable pay for developer role

Microsoft : Hyderabad Location + (x+1.5) lpa Fixed + 2 lacs joining bonus + 2.9 lpa variable pay + stock for Azure Support Engineer role

Thanks in advance.

like

RIP Diego Maradona

likehelpful

List of new sources that we should avoid posting. I’ll start:
-NYPost
-DailyMail
-Project Veritas 🙄

likesmartfunny
likehelpful

Hi folks,
I need one suggestion , I’m currently working in TCS and having 1.5 yoe and CTC of 2.47(BCA),
My tech stack is python, sql, ETL, & also I know basics of django, webtech also,,
Is it the right time if i put my papers without having any offer in hand coz many companies reject me coz of long notice period, thanks in advance

like

Trying to get into stand up comedy, any advice? Not sure where to start but am really serious about giving it a shot

like

I am currently hiring CDL drivers in the Tampa, Atlanta, and Dallas markets. Please let me know if you are interested.

like

Why are engineers so difficult to recruit? Sometimes they make me feel stupid lol.

Can anybody let me know how much time it will take to deliver feedback/update after ED round from PwC ????

My ED round has been completed 2 days back. PwC PwC India Pwc AC

Making the move to Cleveland/Akron, Ohio. Looking for your reco on agency/corporate companies that hit the top of your list to be apart of. - thanks

Hello everyone,

I love in Europe and was wondering how difficult or easy getting remote front end position in a US company would be and if the salary would be the same as a US citizen who lives in the US?

like

So I'm fairly new to the restaurant business; only in like 4 years (only two concepts). Both have been pure chaos that causes so much stress and anxiety. Is this industry wide or am I just unlucky with the 2 concepts I've experienced so far?

like
like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal