Just had a long chat with my brother and he’s just perpetually unhappy with his wife. Been married for 14 years. 2 kids. He’s talked about divorce before, but he’s so indecisive, goes in circles with his logic.. around the kids, he thinks he can deal with it, maybe he will do it when the kids graduate from high school etc. He says they are just kind of coexisting now. Not really fighting but barely talking for 10 minutes a day, handling the kids but not spending any time together.

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Taking to a therapist may help them make the best decision for themselves. Therapists aren’t just to help people stay together but to guide them as they figure out what would be best for themselves and their families.

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It reminds me of our parents relationship honestly. They were so unhappy but just stuck it out. I’m not sure how to advise him. Any help?

You took your first breath upon my chest
I built you a good nest before I left
It wasn't that I never loved your mother
But two happy homes are better than one that suffered

- Hilltop Hoods, Through the Dark


Their lyrics have helped me though a lot. Not this issue in particular, but challenging times nonetheless.

Thanks. Yeah they have been in and out of therapy for years. I love that poem. I’ll share it with him

The whole song is about a slightly different topic. It's that specific section I thought might be useful to you

Ripping the band-aid is scary but it's worth it. It took me months to adjust once I moved out but not too long. Divorce is expensive and you focus on the kids well being. Within a few months I was moving on and very happy. The hardest part was telling everyone in your life that you are getting divorced. In my situation I didn't tell anyone in my life that I was even unhappy in my marriage. However everyone was supportive and helped out in anyway they could.

This feels like me. I'm in the same situation. Neither of us want to pull the trigger and do it. It's so much to unravel with kids, house, assets, friendships, social stigmatisms, lawyers, etc. that it's not really indecisiveness it's more a paralyzing situation. Like being on a rollercoaster you can't get off of.

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Surrounding yourself with the right people can make a major impact in living the life that you want.

People who Teach, Empower, and Support you in every aspect of your life will fast-track your growth. Also, surrounding yourself with these people will give you an environment of freedom to talk about anything.

Do you have these types of people in your current relationships? If so, make sure you prioritize building on them as they are your keepers.

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He’s not willing to commit to the other women because he’s not over me.

I need to block him.

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