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Hey Fishes,
Attivo Networks, A Deception & Endpoint Security Based Company is Looking for 2 Vacancies:
*Extremely Competitive Salary*
QA Engineer : Windows Endpoint Application Testing,Performance Testing,API Hooking, BSOD Debugging, Powershell/Python, WinDBG, Active Directory
Threat Research Engineer : Exploit Analysis, Packet Capture, Reverse Engineering & Content Development
Reach out to gorang.joshi@attivonetworks.com with our resume for a Refer.
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TIA.
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It's very hard.
It's VERY expensive (adequate childcare, unless you're lucky with free parental help that's good.).
It's unrelenting (can't put the kids on pause for a week :)]
You will MARVEL at what the hell you used to do with all the free time you didn't realize that you had before.
The stakes are higher (you now have little people depending on you for everything... especially all the things that cost money, like food, shelter and clothes!).
It can hamper your ability to go above and beyond in work.
You'll see your friends less.
Etc
Etc
Etc.
And yet
.....
I can't imagine my life without my kids. I love them to bits and it's (mostly...) all worth it.
100% true and so so worth it. seeing his little smile just melts me every day
Like anything you make it work and you will never feel prepared, ready, or well-rested again. When you have your first child, the only thing that matters is keeping them alive, healthy, and happy. You do what you have to and there is no greater sacrifice. All the stuff you are worrying about today fades away.
Lots of other factors come into play, like if you can afford to pay for help with things like childcare and housekeeping, if you have family nearby to help with childcare, the nature of you and your parner’s jobs and commute times (I.e. shift work versus in office, remote/hybrid/in person). As with everything, it’s easier to balance a demanding job/career with kids if there’s more money and access to resources.
As a single mother its been extremely hard. Depending on your area daycare is expensive, for my area it is $1700 a month for 5 days a week for 10 hours a day. I also lost my job in January and haven't gotten work yet, so as you can imagine the fear of how I'm going to pay lot rent, mortgage, utilities, food, car payment, insurance, gas, clothes for her etc. You'll be exhausted, emotional, stressed. There will be times you will feel inadequate, you will have times you will feel like you are failing, you'll be worried that you're not doing enough or that your doing too much. Work will get more stressful too, you'll want or need more time, you'll have to figure out how to balance OT or if you have no one to pick up your child when they're sick and the daycare calls to have you come pick them up, or when you have to stay home when they are sick or the daycare is closed for a holiday even if your job is not.
With all that being said, I wouldn't trade it for anything. My daughter is my world, there's nothing like them falling asleep in your arms, the giggles when you do something silly, the squeal of mommy or daddy when they are talking and they haven't seen you all day. The constant questions, the constant wanting to cuddle, the weird little games they come up with that make no sense etc.
If you choose to have a little one just remember that they don't come with a guide, you are not failing, you will do your best and then surpass, and always always communicate clearly and precisely with your partner what you need, what's bothering you, your fears and worries etc.
At least once a month have a date night.
I was fortunate to have very understanding managers who were more or less in the same phase of their lives as I was. We always prioritize family over work and understood if we had a family responsibility before or after work. Because of that trust, I appreciated my managers and worked even harder for them. Also, it's not about company culture. This is about trust and respect given by managers to their subordinates.
Mom of 3. I quit consulting about 2 years into our first and have continued to progress my career in industry with salary increases and promotions. My spouse started working full time after finishing medical residency and there’s been no “career progression” (but he’s happy with it). We luckily have a full time nanny that helps with the kids before and after school, and does other chores during the bulk of her day. Our jobs have a lot of flexibility and that’s been super important to us so we can prioritize family.
Yes, of course, it becomes much harder to manage. After work kids take the entirety of the evening until they go to sleep, which could be anywhere from 8 to 11. You may have after school activities where you leave early, so lose another chunk of work day. You can hire someone to do all of that care, but then you never see your kid.
Kids definitely change the career game. But while some people I know found that it slows progress with all the juggling responsibilities, there are many who also say the experience teaches new prioritization skills and resilience that help long term. Good luck to you both. I'm sure you'll figure it out. I personally don't have kids but thats a choice I made for different reasons from this one.
I got promoted after a kid. Schedule is impossible but you make it work.
Are you ever ready for kids? Having kids is lifelong, doesn't stop when they move out or grow up. It's the most precious moment in your life but you are never ready for everything....good and bad. You make it work and there will be some sacrificing but it's something that you and you alone have to decide. Good luck and enjoy!