Need help 🐠
GF in med school at tier 3 city, I’m currently in tier 1 city, I got my MBB dream offer in another tier 1 city across the US.

Dating 4 years, 2 in college, 2 post grad. CONT

likehelpful
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

Long distance isn’t hard when you’re a consultant. I live with my husband and we’re basically in a LDR since we see each other on the weekends. You can easily alt travel to her “tier 3” city on the weekends.

likeupliftingsmart

My two cents is this. Your biggest relationship decision here is not MBB vs Accenture, its consulting vs low travel job. Your future wife will have a low/no travel job and a stable, family friendly career (assuming she’s not going to be a emergency room surgeon or something crazy). That right there is an amazing set up. You’re obviously talented enough to land a satisfying, well paying job that keeps you both at home 6 nights out of seven. Maybe you don’t “chase your dream” of being an MBB partner. Well, I’ve been that. It doesn’t make you happy. In fact, happiness isn’t really even the goal. The goal is doing something meaningful with your life. Can MBB partner be that? It can? But so can a thousand other futures you might have. Meaning comes from faith, family, friends and earned success in a career (I’m channeling Arthur Brooks and Jordan Peterson, shamelessly, if you didn’t already realize). Listen, if she’s the one, go to her and never let her go. You have a chance at deep meaning and potentially even happiness if she is, and you choose a satisfying life of a loving close family.

likeupliftinghelpful
Recent IconRecent

Somehow in the above, the fact that she is a doctor was missed. Think long-term my boy:

“You can marry more money in a day than you can earn in your entire life.”

#trueexitstrategies

likefunny

If you’re happy with Accenture (assume you’re in Strategy) move to the Tier 3 city and have a decent career and someone special to share your success with. Also remember you’re supporting your partner’s career now which is fantastic! Wouldn’t you expect the same from her if you were in her situation?

likeuplifting

Consider her future possibilities too. If you relo to her, what happens when she matches to another city in a couple years?

I would suggest that this is a discussion you should be having with her. The input you've received above should be helpful inputs that you can share during that conversation, but be open with her about your career aspirations, ask about hers (and the steps she will need to take to reach them), and see where that leads you.

like

What year of med school? She can easily match in your city.

like

If you have to ask... you’re not really pining to be with her. Toss a coin I’m sure you’ll have your answer before the coin lands.

like

You’ll be traveling during the week regardless so just fly to her place every weekend instead

likeuplifting

Everyone saying long distance relationships are no big deal are crazy. I did it for 1.5 years and it puts a lot of strain on the relationship. It also just sucks not being able to see them when you are already in this career. It worked out for us but I wish we never had to do it. And for you it’s 3-4 years!
If she is the one then go live in her city and invest in the relationship. You will get more from a meaningful relationship and marriage than you will ever get from a career. Money and prestige are nice vanity articles, but they do not lead to deeper satisfaction with life the way being with the love of your life will. Next week is my last in consulting because we are starting a family and I want to be there with my wife, for everything

like

Which cities? Are you opposed to long distance? As someone who did it for two years, you can make it work

likeuplifting

Since when is putting relationship over career considered “weak?” I think it’s the confident thing to do. All my successful mentors have preached the importance of having a solid support network to help them achieve their career goals. It’s not weak at all to consider your partner in a career choice, it’s the mature and right thing to do

like

Just break up with her and pursue your dream job.

like

If this is your dream to be in MBB, take it. If it is supposed to work with the SO it will. I did cross country distance with the SO for 2 years and fly 80 percent of the time during the week for the other 2 years. Still happy and no regrets.

like

It’s simple. Take MBB , do LDR and see how things go. If they don’t work out , quit MBB and find a job in Florida using your MBB experience..

like

MBB. You will kill your self later when she breaks up with you.

like

OP if you were already married I don’t think you’d consider anything other than what keeps you together as a family at whatever level is workable for you guys. Maybe going bi-coastal would be ok but that’s between you guys. If you’re sure this relationship is going all the way then make your other life plans around that. Who you worked for - especially early in your career - will be a footnote on your life. Your family will be most of the book. To possibly more directly answer your question, many relationships have survived a lot of distance as you both embark on your careers but none would call it easy. Have a deep conversation. If you’re future husband and wife then decide as a team. Good luck!

like

OP, here’s something else to consider. If you’re early on in your career you will likely want / need to be in the office on Fridays and other non travel days to build a network in your new firm. Also, the expectations at MBB are vastly different than the large diversified consulting firms like ours. In addition, I know that firms like Bain and BCG are actively pushing for regional
Staffing models which may prohibit your ability to Alt travel. My point is that don’t bank on Alt travel.
Keep cash / miles to go spend weekends with the Mrs. Finally, long distance is hard.. not impossible but really difficult.

like

If I were your gf, I’d say follow your dream and see. Just because you go to SF doesn’t mean you can’t come back if it’s not working. She’s following her dream - and she has 3 years + residency after depending on her picks. If you’re in it for the long game, it’s silly to put your dreams on hold. You’re young and talented. If it’s meant to be - you will both make it work. I agree you should involve her in this discussion to get her thoughts. But I would want you to chase your dream job and support you - as you would me. Good luck!

like

OP don't do it. You will regret it and possibly end up resenting her. Use the travel flexibility to spend more time in her city during the weekends but DO NOT move

like

If you don’t take MBB , you will resent your gf in future . If you take MBB you will resent yourself in present

likefunny

Related Posts

Is moving to Amsterdam as a non-Dutch speaking copywriter a bad idea? Are there more jobs for art directors? Thanks :)

like

Wanna a learn Data Science cource.Anya vs suggestions please

like

What type of exit opportunities are you guys looking at? What about colleagues, where do they typically end up after consulting?

like

Best books for U.S. Corporate Tax similar to Logic of Subchapter K for partnerships? I’ve historically worked extensively with partnerships and starting to branch out into more “Core” corporate M&A Tax and looking for a helpful resource to get up to speed.

like

Has any creative here ever tried to make the leap to leave advertising and be a film maker, photographer, illustrator, etc.?? I’m so tired of ad agencies and how draining the “creative” can be. Happiness is more important than a nice paycheck for me. Any inspiration success stories advice would be so helpful right now...

likefunny

Currently an event coordinator for a company and looking to move into either another event coordinator role, or into an SDR or project manager role. Does anyone know of any opportunities or able to give any advice what roles to move to?

like

Husband and I would love to have kids in soon, but we're both super dedicated to our careers. Have any of you stepped away from your career for a couple years to raise your kids? How did it go?

like

Any advice on a first year trying to transition from family law to in-house? I always thought family law was my path, and used to enjoy it, but it’s not the direction I want to head in anymore. I don’t think I even want to continue with any litigation work. I’m having a hard time finding firms that are hiring entry level associate positions that don’t require at least 3+ years experience in-house. Should I start at a business law firm to get experience working with corporations first?

like

Hey guys,

is it safe to move to healthcare organization which is established in India only 2 years ago, but in US it was established around 160+ years ago, keeping in mind on recession and job security?

Please help me on this!!!


Fractal Infosys Tata Consultancy IBM Wipro Nagarro

like

Hey All...

I am planning to change my profession from fixed asset accounting to Business Analyst...

Is this wise decision?!!!

like
like

Hi there, I will be completing 1 yoe in May 2022 and looking to join MBB's. My key skills are Aletryx, SQL, Excel with VBA, R, Python, Tableau, and Power BI. I am looking for some guidance from people working in Analyst roles at MBBs.

like

MBB folks, I’m a Product Manager (non-tech company) and interested in working at MBB.

Which level/role does MBB can offer me ?

like

Looking for case partners for upcoming MBB interviews. Currently working in consulting so ideally late (9:30ET or later) most workdays/weekends are open.

like

Networking: I’m trying to build a network with MBB employees but I’m searching for roles in another country where I’ve got minimal school connections. Should I start by building a network in my home country and ask them if they can put me in touch with someone in my target location? Or just go straight to people in my intended location with cold requests/emails? Thoughts and views welcome!

like

Anyone know what would be a fair offer moving from the equivalent of a SM position leading tech due diligence at a consulting firm to a similar position working directly for a large PE firm (although director title there)

like

Oil and gas attorneys what do you do?

like

I’m located in WA and have been working as a certified medical assistant and front office specialist for the same organization and have 10-11 years experience. I graduated with my BS in Healthcare Management last September and I’m currently fast tracking my MBA in Healthcare Management. I have been applying for leadership roles over the last year and haven’t made any headway. I’m looking for some advice on actually moving into a role utilizing my degree.I currently make $25.80, with a raise soon

likehelpful
like

Hi guys , I m working in American express from dec 2017 joined as customer service associate moved to their credit operation as a collection agent, currently at 6lpa , can anyone recommend me any better oportunity or any course that shall do to shape a better career and packages, response appreciated

like

More Posts

What's the best month to visit Nashville? I want to bring my girlfriend to Nashville to propose but I don't know anything about the weather. She grew up in Nashville but hasn't been back for 4+ years. I'd like to book the tickets in advance, so let me know your thoughts please & thank you.

like

Is getting into McK India as associate possible
with MS in info systems and ~3.5 years of tech consulting experience?
Also what is the salary range for this position ?

likehelpful

Robinhood just kicked me off their platform and I have no idea why. Now I need to quickly liquidate. Any recommendations to invest in mostly VOO without any fees and a nice UI for my phone? I need it to also connect to Mint.

like

Anyone working at Fidelity Investments willing to refer me for a role?

like

Data Scientists: What were the skills you were interviewed on and what are the skills that you use in your day to day job? Let’s create a thread.

like

HR shared offer letter yesterday and sent linkdin request. How to deal with this situation as he can track my activity like ( likes on job post opportunity, Open for work etc..)
Note - 2 month of notice period to serve to get counter offer

like

How to be an exceptional buddy to my intern?

like

One bite of bitter melon as a kid; I refuse to eat it to this day! đŸ€ą

Post Photo
likefunny

How do you take care of your dog if you travel for work with your dog? Does your dog get enough exercises when you’re in travel? If it’s possible, I would like to know everything.

Hey Peps,

Looking for an opportunity for Line Producer or Senior Production cordinator in a firm where I am respected and work life balance is promoted no slave working.

like

I have an exam voucher for AWS CCP, it's valid till December 2022. Anyone looking to buy please let me know. I can give it for a little bit lesser price also

like

Working in reporting of private equity funds. Hands on experience in Tableau and MySQL. Good knowledge of Analytics part and writing down commentary for return on investment fir private equity funds.
Serving notice period.
LWD: 13th April
Please help me if you have any opportunities
Location: Delhi/NCR

like

What is the current work schedule in T systems.

I heard WFO has started ?

Can anybody confirm who is currently working. I have my DOJ in 10 days.

Resigned already 30 days back

Got 75% from accenture

Feeling like I should revoke resignation.

I am actually loving the people I am working with.

Not sure what is waiting for me in new company.

Will I regret leaving deloitte for accenture?

like

Of all the job pitches that I have received, this is the most incomprehensible so far.

Post Photo
like

How does IT SOX audit in industry usually do during recessions?

likehelpful

What is the designation hierarchy in Lilly for IT solutions ? Can anyone please help with that information

What tech jobs will be taken away with AI? I feel like a lot of tech consulting jobs will be gone, tableau, data management etc.... Or am wrong?

like

Is one year too soon to leave for another job?

like

Additional Posts in Consulting

Definitely behind on this just noticed people went from being tagged Management Consulting to Consulting. Still aligned to C&M but is there any purpose to this?

like

What's the McKinsey interview process for experienced hires? Case studies standard for all groups?

like

How much of Trumps success in business is operational, versus asset value growth...and if it's asset value then is it concentrate on a few?

like

Anyone else hear that post-CRT partners will get fired this year in commercial advisory? How the hell does a partner get fired....

like

Anybody else think their social life is too much? I can't recall the last time I had me time. I even go out Thursday nights after coming home. How to say no when it's different people all the time?

like

Anyone from Bain: can you comment on the local model? If you Qatar in Financial Services for example, can you stay in Ny. I like consulting, but not a huge fan of the travel.

like

Confession: Dreamt about Panda Express last night.

like

Need help on weighing an offer:
Currently SC at 115k ~ (+25k retention), offer from Capgemini Invent at 170 for M level.. not sure on sign on bonus. Worth the switch? Any reviews of capgemini?

like

Deloitte folks - trying to make senior manager this year at DD, got more than $5+ for the last couple of years and have excellent relationship with my client for the last 2 years. Contributed enough

like

IWD: Marrying a đŸ‘©â€đŸ”Ź scientist in 2 weeks. Someone who challenges and loves me every day. A role model to my nieces and our future children

like

Hotel or corporate housing? Benefits and drawbacks of each. This is for a long term engagement in Denver. I really like getting my Marriott points, but wouldn’t mind staying some weekends in Denver.

like

Someone reached out to me on LinkedIn about becoming an author on the side. Has anyone heard about such a thing?!? The person said she’s worked with 800 consultants writing their books and marketing it for them.

like

I like consulting but the multiple project workload sucks. I have 5 active projects and I’m barely scraping by on each one. I’m just surviving week by week. I could do such an amazing job on these projects if I had 2-3 instead. Sucks

like

What is the best consultancy for Media and Entertainment work? Considering a move


like

Are there any books or classes about convincing people that have irrational arguments? Trying to figure out how to frame conversations that lead to my conclusions that aren't based in logic and fact.

like

Looking for recommendations on a good book/resource on how to manage people, especially when you’re managing teams to achieve tight deadlines and also overall leadership for those teams. Currently on a project with tight regulatory deadlines and feel like I’m struggling to push people without pissing them off. Great learning curve for me and a good read seems timely. TIA!

like

What's the FSI strategy team like at KPMG?

like

What are the best consulting firms in Europe to do AI strategy work in public sector? I have Canadian experience and I’m looking to move geographies.

like

Smart to look for a new job with a “recession” looming? Wanted to leave by end of the year, but nervous I’d be the first laid off at a new spot

likesmartfunny

Not up for a promotion this year, not expecting one...but still checking myperformance religiously

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview

Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal