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What is your hours worked to hours billed ratio?
I’m the definition of chinese working culture. 996.
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I’m moving from Houston to New York City in Jan 2022, any recommendation on specific apartment? I’m thinking about Elmhurst, Astoria, Long Island City. I do see apartment listings on apartment.com from 1,700-2,200 in those areas. But it’s hard to tell by pictures. I will be working near Radio City Music Hall in Manhattan. To me, safety and commute comes first. And then it’s the cost and Laundry facilities. Or should I live in NJ? Thanks!!!
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It doesn’t feel great to be the isolated one. That’s one lesson she should be learning here. She needs to go to her school and face that. She’s embarrassed by her actions. That’s vastly different than actually being scared and bullied daily to the point of questioning your own existence. That kind of bullying leaves a deep scar. What’s happening to her is a scrape. The dust will settle eventually and she’ll be ok. This is a good learning lesson for facing the consequences of your actions too. Also school aged girls can’t be trusted with gossip ever. I have a teen son and boys don’t tend to have this issue (they bully in other ways) but I’ve seen this exact scenario play out for numerous friends of mine with teen daughters. They will flip on each other over anything. Hopefully this will teach her to be more cautious with her words even if she thinks it’s a safe space.
this.
you should encourage her to apologize to the person she trash talked (to their face) and for her to use the isolation to think about her actions and use it as a lesson.
Imagine what lesson this would teach her about real life if she just magically changed school or moved cities.
I'm sorry to say, but this is a terribly difficult lesson your daughter will need to learn on her own. You can't save her here. You can support her at home and help make her days easier while she navigates it, but having a few rough days at school makes sense in this situation.
What exactly do you mean by trash talking. Trash talking could be about a specific person, a thing or a choice. I’d need to know what was said that made ALL of her friends stop talking to her. I’d need to understand why your daughter felt empowered to trash talk among her group of friends? Do they all trash talk? Did your daughter go overboard? This is a valuable lesson for your daughter to learn and pre teen/teen girls can be cruel. I have a pre teen girl, 12 and I’ve raised a son, 22. Not having friends and being isolated is hard at this age. She’s not emotionally matured, puberty/hormones and brain not fully developed. She needs to first understand why what she said was wrong and harmful and caused her “friends” to turn on her. Then she needs to apologize but understand is she apologizing because she believes she was wrong or just because she wants her friends back? Also let them know she’s human and made a poor choice (not a mistake because I’m guessing she knew she was wrong) and let them know she really wants to be friends again. Isolation is also a form of bullying. If her former friend group is encouraging others not to tlk to her you need to speak to the school and school social worker. If that doesn’t help speak with the parents. If your daughter’s grades start dropping, she becomes disengaged, depressed get her a therapist that specializes with teens. It is absolutely your job to save/protect her because she is still a child. If things continue to get worse i recommend virtual school or change her school. My son was bullied to the point he was suicidal at 10 through his first year of HS. I was in the media because of this so I speak from experience. It seems like she’s learned her lesson and therapy can be helpful for all kids as they navigate the complexities of this world that’s very different than the one we grew up in.
Hey thanks for your helpful words and various options. I’m sorry for the experience you had to go through. It’s beyond hard. I hope your son is doing very well now.
Thanks for all your responses. 100% agree on that. Sometimes life teaches you lessons with real consequences which you understand unlike listening to your parents. I hope it gets better today and tomorrow but let’s see.
Iffy on the last part. Forgiveness is good yes but there are a lot of people that think they can do whatever they want and as long as they tack on a “sorry” all should be well and back to normal. And I think that attitude can start from this seed of admonishing the friends for reactively rejecting her.
Have her apologize.. explain what she said and why (example she was having a bad day..
Or on the end of sue meant what she said maybe she needs to find new friends ..)
To go to school because she doesn’t want to sit at lunch table all by herself. She is asking me to change schools or even leave the city…I know she will come around but any suggestions will be helpful