Does anyone have experience breaking up w a therapist? I've been seeing my therapist for 5+ years for eating disorder treatment and we've been through so much together, but I don't think she's able to help me anymore. While I've stopped my ED behaviors, they've evolved into OCD, and I'm finding that her methods might be making it worse. I think I want to try an OCD expert instead. But I don't know how to end the relationship. Do I just stop going? Do I explain myself? I don't know what to do 🥺

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I’ve had to do this a few times.

A few times I just ghosted. Didn’t schedule a next appointment (“I’d like to check my schedule before committing to another session. I’ll follow up when I’m ready again.”) On the occasion I had another session already booked I just emailed to cancel and didn’t follow up about a new session. I don’t regret this method.

I also had another occasion where the services had just deteriorated and her methods weren’t working for me anymore. I just told her the truth and she understood and gave me some recommendations. I had been seeing this therapist for longer so this seemed more appropriate under the circumstances.

I once briefly saw a therapist just to discuss how to breakup with my other therapist 😅 I learned to what is most comfortable for myself. You don’t owe an explanation, though you might find yourself wanting to express the change. When I stopped sessions I had a bit of a shock re: what to do in crisis, but worked through it with techniques I had learned.

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Thank you so much for this. I wrote out an email explaining why and just hit send. Feels better than ghosting, but still kind of tough since I've worked with her for 5 years. But i feel so relieved now that it's done.

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Explain and ask them for referrals. Your autonomy is a primary goal of therapy, not dependence or loyalty to one therapist.

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Also, OCD training is a unique and specific skill set and it makes perfect sense to work with someone else for that. Just make sure your next therapist has significant education, training, and weekly oversight regarding exposure therapy and other best practices for OCD treatment.

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