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You just gotta take the diapers off and deal with the consequences. Put some rubber sheets in her bed or lay down some towels. It’s just pee and poop. The mess is worth it.
Make a sticker chart. Every time she uses the toilet she gets to put a sticker on the chart. When she gets 3 stickers she gets a little reward. Let her pick out both the sticker and the reward. It makes it easier when they feel part of the process. Good luck!
If you have another one, do early potty training. I did it with both my kiddos. Started at 16 months (once they were reliably walking and napping) and had them out of diapers 90% of the time by 2. Did it with the little kid potty and read a few articles on EC (elimination communication, which sounds gross) and then just ripped off the diapers. Lots of poop and pee the first few days. Then by the end of two weeks almost zero accidents. It works!
Rising Star
Walk away. Just let it go for a week and tell her when she’s ready to be a big girl let you know. Be nonchalant. Takes away the drama. Put her in pull-ups in the meantime and she’ll get tired of being damp and able to pull them down when she decides to go.
100% agree here!! Drop it. We waited until both of our kids were pushing for it and it was done within a few days. The power struggle leading to holding it in is a recipe for urinary tract infections. She’ll get there when she’s ready - guaranteed.
Just went through this a few months ago. Have you read “Oh Crap”? My kiddo was also super resistant to sitting on the potty, and I found having a more laid-back “I trust you’ll need to tell me when you need to go” was way more helpful than forcing him to sit on the potty. We did not use diapers or pull-ups at all, and told him we were done with those except for sleeping, since he’s still learning. Do what works for you, but we avoided the sticker chart/incentive route and just repeated to him that “you’re a big boy now, and big boys use the potty”. Also highly recommend a little potty and then upgrading to a potty seat. It’s less scary.
This was our exact path. We were on our way to to potty train station and COVID stopped school, which meant a full stop on her routine. So, naturally she reverted and HATES going on the potty. But, once she was ready and it wasn’t the worst thing she’d ever done she started coming around. We did little surprises inside Easter eggs that she could pick after every potty (we kept regifting, she never realized), we’ve done a sticker chart, candy, etc. the name of the game is whatever excites her that day to go potty is the winner! You go this!!!
We are having the same issue with my same aged son. For now we’ve actually gone the opposite route and tried to remove the power/reward structure from using the potty entirely, since in our case I felt like we were amping up the drama by acting like we cared so much where and when he peed. Every so often we’ll ask if he wants to try the potty or wear underwear, which are cool options for big boys, but if the answer is no we say “ok” and move on.
Check back with me if this doesn’t work he’s still wearing diapers at age 10 😂 but I feel better about this approach than I did when we were trying really hard, and luckily it jives well with the Montessori approach at his school.
We are in the potty training phase too. My son is 2.5 and we more or less followed the oh crap book. We did 2.5 days totally naked on the bottom which he grasped really quickly. Then we transitioned to loose pants with no diaper or underwear underneath for maybe 4 days. He had a bunch of accidents this way- especially when we were not at home or if he was super engaged in an activity, but the wet pants/socks/shoes feeling helped him understand what not to do and we would just ask him if he forgot to go to the potty and reiterated that he had to tell us when he needed to go so we could help him. Now he’s in pull ups under his pants and is keeping them dry, even through naps. We also celebrate big time every time he’s successful with the potty, at first with treats and now with loud cheers and “I’m so proud of you”s.
Well, an update... her return to daycare was a wild success and she seems to be over the hump, with no more resistance...and even enthusiasm. She’s still in diapers at night but planning to switch in the next week. I think we got this, knock on wood! Thanks to everyone for all the advice!!!
(Contd) We then tried to make her sit until she goes, which doesn’t work and I think has made it into a battle of the wills. Any tips?