Do you think marriage is necessary? Why do we need the law to regulate the relationship? Isn't being committed emotionally enough? Would like to get different perspectives from both women and men.

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M here. Not being married is totally fine if it works for you both. You don’t need anything stating you love each other for the rest of your lives. But marriage can be such a wonderful thing and should be cherished as such. Just make sure you REALLY know that person before you say I do.

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And who are you to say anything? Stay unmarried and have no one lmao. Is this SM from Vegas trying to get in everyone’s dm’s lmao

To some, marriage feels like a social relic of the past. Why would anyone need that piece of paper anyways? The following reasons come to mind:

1. Shows real commitment. Getting the law involved can prevent any sort of wishy washy feelings about each other. It helps work on solving conflicts, because there's no longer an easy way out.

2. Defines the relationship. Given the prevalence of hookup culture, open relationships or polyamory nowadays, marriage spells out long term monogamy along with the rights and privileges involved, and it offers higher security.

3. Offers legal benefits. Tax deductions, social security benefits, health insurance benefits, legal decision making benefits, inheritance benefits, etc. Quite important also, in case of medical emergencies, sudden deaths or other unforseen circumstances.

Committing to marriage is ideally, committing to forever, not until one changes their mind. So if one's on the fence about marriage, it's best to discuss and get on the same page with their partner. Because both need to feel confident and comfortable with the quality of their relationship before making (or not) one of their biggest, life-changing decisions.

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In all simplicity a legal binding and union of families make it harder to walk away from a marriage. It forces you in some ways to sort out and reconcile differences. Otherwise you can just pickup your bag and leave.

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I feel like if two people are going to have kids together they should be married. I would be embarrassed to say “this is my boyfriend” and have like two kids with him. I’d rather say “ this is my husband”. Kids are such a commitment and I would want the legal commitment of a marriage before having kids. Just my personal thoughts

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I could see using partner as a term but not spouse as that’s still a term for people that are married.

Male here. Not a lot of women would be fine with no proposal/marriage/wedding. It’s a lot of girls dream. Depending on your relationship, it could work for you!

Probably best to rephrase the question because you can be married without the the law being involved. Are you querying about monogamy?

The thing about being committed emotionally, that is quite vague as you can be committed emotionally with a friend. Doesn’t mean it on the same level as marriage.

If you are wondering what marriage can “offer”. Then my advice is not to get married.

If you are looking for an actual difference, it is the vows you take when getting married. You have a duty as well as a responsibility to maintain them.

That’s not the case being in a long term committed relationship.

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I’ve been not married but “married” in every sense of that word to the same human for the past 18 years.

What is “enough” is for two people to decide. Monogamy, commitment, how to raise children, proposals, dreams, celebrations are all simply choices that people make, whether married or not. The legals can (nearly) all be replicated. We pay fewer taxes.

Typically, I refer to her as my wife. It’s the best word we have.

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I actually don't see any benefit for a man to get married unless you want kids and I tell a woman I'm dating I'll never marry them.

However, I'll admit you have to be much more intentional with her then and commit in other areas to prove you're not just here for ass and kicking her once you get tired

I don't really want to get into it. However, there are plenty of studies that show the vast benefits of marriage for women that aren't shared by men. First, the overwhelming super majority of women millionaires are made through marriage, divorce, or inheritance. Studies show the least happiest people in America are single women over the age of 40. There's the obvious protection and security aspect men provide to women.

Do I really have to explain this or are we going to pretend men and women are one in the same?

Before anyone gets annoying, nowhere did I say women provide zero value. I'm answering the question.

Best reason is taxes and social security, otherwise it doesn’t really matter.
-female

F here and don't really want to get married, mostly for tax reasons. If I do get married, it's going to be a planned elopement or backyard wedding as I don't want to spend a bunch of money on one day when I would rather use that money towards our house.

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