So… how long do I take for paternity leave?

First child. I have reasonable associate support, but all partners are so busy it is doubtful I can get them to fully step in on deals.

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Whatever behavior you’d like to model for your associates is what you should do. If you’d firm offers associates 12 weeks of paternity leave and you take one week, it would be difficult for an associate who wants to be successful to take 12 weeks if partners are taking one (shouldn’t be difficult but it is a psychological thing).

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Spot on. Along a similar vein, one of the best insights I’ve ever heard about law firms is that firm “culture” is simply: (1) what is rewarded; (2) what is tolerated; and (3) what is punished. Your actions as a partner send signals to the associates as to all three.

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Take it all. And then get your team to figure out how to give you more. And then when your team has a kid, you make sure to do the same for them.

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I would take the same period that is offered to associates to set an example that it’s okay to take the full leave.

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I know this isn’t helpful, but take whatever you can. I only took a week for both my kids and very much regret it.

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I only took 6 weeks and regret not taking more. No one regrets taking the full amount

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Take your full leave!

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Ours is 12 weeks paid for secondary caregivers, and most partners I know took at least 4-6 weeks. So if you don't have a policy, 4-6 weeks seems reasonable. If you're not comfortable taking that much time off at one time, consider splitting it up.

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We don’t have formal leave for partners as far as I know. I took a month, which was consistent with the associate policy at the time. But note that I’m in litigation so it was easy to work around and set my deadlines in advance. Not sure about transactional side.

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Thank you all for your insights. On top of the usual partner pressures, I just made equity partner this year, so I have that hanging over me to produce even more.

I also know that it is insane that as a profession we think 1-2 weeks is probably fine and anything more is pushing it…

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Your baby is only a baby once. Also, your spouse may need that extra support. Newborn babies have a habit of being hungry every two to three hours - all day and all night. It’s exhausting for everyone.

My husband was a lifesaver because he helped with the nighttime feedings (bottle fed baby) so I didn’t lose my mind from exhaustion.

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Thanks all - did your practices suffer? As mentioned above, I’m especially worried about continuing to meet metrics as a new equity partner.

No, although I am fairly junior lit partner with a full docket. Stepping out for a month was not a big deal for me.

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