So, wifey and I are thinking about number 3. I always thought I was done at 2, but she has been talking about this some more. We can obviously afford a 3rd and I like the concept of a larger family, but....
The world has too many people already, kids are expensive, kids take a toll on your relationship, babies are hardest, etc.
Has anyone else had to think about this? How did you make the call?

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From personal experience, the third child is a bigger game changer for your quality of life than the second kid. You’re just out numbered.

The first baby would sleep, and the parents can have a break. Even when the second baby comes along, our toddler would still nap when the baby slept, and give a break. With the third child, there are no breaks. There is a level of endless work/exhaustion that is not present with just one or two. The needs of these three people now span a broad, and often unrelated, spectrum of tasks. Diapers, meals, activities, etc now have three different versions to handle near simultaneously.

Your mileage may very, but the increased LOE from 2 to 3 is not incremental growth, but growth at scale

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My neighbors (in their 80’s) had six kids. It’s amazing to watch how full their life is now; some combo of kids / grand kids are over there or dragging them to something all the time

I’ve always been for fewer kids, my wife more, she’s won four times now. I’m glad I’m a pushover because at the end of the day it’s all you really have

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We have 3 (6, 4, and 2) and my wife says in her opinion its not that much extra work (after you get to the point they sleep through the night). Really at this point they entertain each other a lot. You do get some economy of scale

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Agree with that and would add it also puts vehicle considerations into a different category. With a family of four, you can get pretty much any vehicle you like. With 5, a minivan or wagon or SUV with three rows becomes a near necessity. Add pets or frequent road trips in the mix and it’s a requirement (in the modern upper middle class American sense; of course many people get by with less and you could too if you wanted).

On the plus side, it’s great once they get older. My youngest is now 7 and other than managing mood swings, it’s an absolutely blast having the dynamics of five people, each with their own quirks and sub-group relationships. Just so much more interesting and fun, I can’t imagine life without three. I have long forgotten all the hard stuff mentioned above.

It does make skiing on mostly four-person chairlifts logistically challenging though 😉

This is great perspective, as I am currently up to my wrists in poop diapers

I feel the same as D1 - going to 3 was way easier than going from 1 to 2. For one, we had our routines down and just completely knew what to expect. We also weren’t as uptight with the third. We also got a different sex with the third which was a bonus. The other slight advantage was our oldest when she was 4 was an amazing helper. Like a go-for for my wife and she loved it. It was little stuff, but kept her busy. Anyway - agree as they grew up together they each went in and out of playing with each other or one of them and was a cool dynamic that continues to evolve even as all of them our young adults now. So - looking back on it, I’m so happy we had the third and frankly probably should have had a fourth or fifth.

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