This colleague at my work likes me - my friends who met him told me it does seem that way. I like him as a friend, although he makes me feel safe emotionally, so some attraction there. I talk to him about my day. Tonight we wished each other sweet dreams, which doesn’t seem right if I don’t want to catch feelings 🤦. I’m super clear that I’ll never want to be with him more than as a friend. Do I need to end our friendship / distance myself? I have other guy friends but he keeps me sane at work!

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Do your actions reflect how you feel? Enforce boundaries as colleagues and friends. No need to be wishing each other good night and texting late.

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Totally fair point, but I also talk to my friends like that. Technically I talk to my girlfriends like that… 🥹

If you’re both single and enjoy each other’s company, I’d ask yourself why you’re so certain a relationship is off the table. But if you’re genuinely sure you only want friendship, then no, I don’t think you need to end the friendship solely because he likes you.

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Even if our guards came down, I am kinda ashamed to confess that I think I need to be with someone who’s doing same or better than me work wise. I’m like a senior to him but we’re not in the same reporting structure or org. I think other than this, he’s pretty great but I don’t know how to bridge the gap for this one. I know what I like and I’m in my 30s, so my dating preference isn’t going to change. And I can’t imagine taking him home even if I overcame my own bias and being given sh*t by family.

Bruh stop being an emotional leech and end it smh

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Sounds like you two have a pretty great relation (not including all the stuff you mentioned). In your case, I would just have an honest heart to heart with him and tell him that you see him as a great friend etc. if he pulls away after that then you know he wanted more and you are saving yourself worse heartache later. If he doesn’t then he either really just wants to be friends or is playing the super long game.

Also, 10 years is generally not that big of an age gap. In fact, I know lots of women that prefer that type of age gap of older men. Is he physically unattractive?

I know you never promised anything but that is a story as old as time. Just because you never outrightly said anything directly does not mean he is not assuming more with the pillow talk and other cues. Lots of times women play hard to get…

helpful

Sorry, but most of your comments sound like you wanna have it both ways. You're talking yourself into thinking you're not leading this person on, but you totally are. Full stop on the nonsense. Just because you're recovering from a heartbreak, doesn't mean you need to inflict it on someone else. And trust and believe this is where this is heading.

Thank you for your judgemental and unsolicited take. Your opinion doesn’t make a difference to me, and if your understanding is so poor that you can’t fully comprehend the thread with BCG1… I can’t help you catch up in life, you know. Best of luck with everything.

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