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Thoughts on taking full parental leave? Are there unspoken resentments?

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Take all of it.

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Go for it and no regrets. This is your kid we are talking about. It’s not going to be easy for your SO or you so better be there as long as you can.

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Even if there are, who cares? Put your partner and child first. There is more to life than work.

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Take it. Play a part in normalizing it for the next guy.

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Take all of it. No one will care or remember. No one will be in a meeting like “XYZ is a great attorney, all clients love him/her, great mentor and colleague BUT…in 2021 they did take all the paternity leave we told them to take and there is no way to get back those hours.”

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Take all of it. Once you're out for a while no one can tell the difference between 2 months and 5 and no one but you will remember how much you took. A friend was the first woman in our department who took leave, she cut hers short and regretted it. I will strongly suggest a stepped return if you can swing it. Basically you come back part-time and work your way back up to full time. It was great for me.

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I’m currently on week 14 of the full 18 weeks. I don’t want to go back. Take all of it.

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I had 16 weeks of paid paternity leave. Took it all, twice. No trouble getting promoted and if anybody resented me it was the crotchety old white dudes handing out the curmudgeon’s guide to lawyering to first years and nobody listens to them anymore anyway.

Take it. You kid is only a newborn once….

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Take it allllll

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Since I have joined my group, everyone eligible (male and female) has taken full advantage of their parental leave. My firm has a rotational program and I observed parental leave patterns carefully during that time.

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I took the full 18 week parental leave with both kids and will do it again if we have another. Might as well make the most of one of the best perks in big law. I don’t regret either decision and the wife is envious of all the time I got to spend with the girls. I don’t know if it’s like this everywhere but the partners at my firm have been super supportive and the timing on my cases has worked out well too.

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I should also mention I was the first dad from our group to take full leave after they extended leave options to 18 weeks. Since then, we’ve had a wave of babies and parents taking leave, so you might also be setting good precedent for others to take full leave for your group.

I resent it had to go back at the end of it.

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I had a partner tell me to only take 2-3 weeks even though the firms policy is 2 months.

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All of it. Do it!

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Take every minute of it, nobody remembers and if they do you don’t want to work there anyways.

I was the first person at my firm to have paternity leave after they instituted a longer leave (4 weeks), there were some comments about how person x only took a week or two but generally my thought was fuck that guy anyways. This was my second child so I kind of had a good handle on the situation, but felt my first paternity leave of two weeks was way too short. I owed it to others to normalize taking all of the allotted leave and not trying to be a paternity leave hardo.

My wife also extended her leave by 3 months against firm policy, just told them this is how it’s going to be or I’m not coming back. It wasn’t paid leave, but this was more important. She’ll make partner this year.

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Take all of it full stop.

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Take every minute and don’t forget to negotiate (before you start your leave) pro rated hours to get your full bonus. Many V100 firms have a policy to pro rate the hours and dollar amount, which of course you don’t find out about unless/until you ask. So be proactive and make sure you get that $$

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Any advice on communicating that my partner is pregnant and I’m planning to take full leave? Was thinking ~3 months (pre due date) is reasonable enough, thoughts?

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I’d drop hints here and there. Announce that your partner (wife?) is pregnant. If it’s your wife, say wife. Not sure how boomers feel about other terms.

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How do bonuses work when you take parental leave? Are your hour requirements pro rated? Is the bonus itself pro rated?

Prorated hours were credited toward a full bonus. But definitely talk to whoever handles the hours calculations to see how they’re doing the math.

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Take every minute.

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Can’t wait to become a father

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