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Ultimate simp move 😂😂
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Give him a list of weekly tasks, say you will split them with him or you can hire someone to do them all. His choice: do half or hire out. If he says he’ll do half, set a timeline, like done by Sunday afternoon or you call merry maids Monday.
Cheap or lazy:
Pick one
If you can afford it, do it for your mental health!
I would talk to him and explain he needs to do his part. You are not there to be his mommy and pick up after him. You even have a cleaning person coming to help, and it’s still not enough. Talk to him, not all little boys grow up to be responsible “adults” and some depending on the culture have it built in their brain that women need to take care of them. My husband’s culture was that way and I put a stop to that even before we got married. He still has his little tendencies from time to time-(like he says he doesn’t “know” how to cook) but nothing like before we were married. I’m ok with the cooking part, but cleaning and everything else needs to be equal. And it has nothing to do with the metoo movement or being woke- it has everything to do with being a human being. You need to say, something like: we both have jobs and work long hours. No one picks up after me, why do I have to pick up after you?
Reading this was confusing because I thought I wrote it and forgot! In the EXACT situation. Mine also tried to stop the cleaning from being more than once a month. I had to explain that it’s for my mental health, and he relented. He sort of tries to do better, but also doesn’t. Maybe he never will. I can foresee a world (if we have another kid) where we need help either weekly, or just more (like adding laundry to her tasks). Anyway. All this to say you have my empathy, and if you can afford it, or compromise on other things to afford it, do it, because it’s not only your mental health, it’s your relationship.
Yep having this exact same situation. Calling today.
If you can afford it, there is no shame! Your health of every kind matters. You should be able to enjoy life. We had cleaning people at the office to do this before, and now it is just more work for us.
What if you stop cleaning and see how he reacts? If he doesn’t like it, you can let him know he is free to do the cleaning. Some guys don’t care enough to clean themselves and expect wives to clean. Unfair, right? By the same token, I don’t think it is right to expect hubby to clean it he doesn’t care to have a cleaner space. It is appropriate to ask him to contribute his part for the cleaning person’s fees.
For those who do cleaning services, do you pre-clean before they come? (Straighten up stuff, get dishes out of the sink, etc)
We (meaning I do it) tidy before our cleaner comes. My husband thinks it’s crazy but years ago I cleaned houses while in university and it helps so much to have the majority of things picked up off the floor. And personally, I’d rather our cleaner cleaned rather than used her time to tidy.
Lastly, to the OP, get a cleaner once a week if you can. We’ve had one once a week for a few months and it’s a game changer. I’m so much happier knowing I don’t clean on the weekends. I wrote down all the cleaning jobs (every single one!) sat my husband down and said let’s divide these jobs evenly between us... and he was suddenly just as excited to get a cleaner weekly.