What do you do when something goes wrong and it isn’t entirely your fault but your other co worker involved stays quiet?

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Well, things can go wrong, there's no shame in that. It's best to open, honest, and transparent, but you don't need to seek out telling someone if it feels like someone's not sniffing around for who was involved.

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And I don’t want to purposefully throw her under the bus but… at the same time I’m starting to question if she’s really “in my corner”

If it needs to bring to someone’s attention that it went wrong, I think they’d appreciate you being proactive. But surely it’s not entirely your fault so perhaps show evidence that it’s not your fault and include a solution?

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Im thinking of doing a postmortem on why the project was delayed and saying something along the lines of “stakeholders kept getting laid off, unclear ownership of the project resulting in folks reaching out to the wrong people, my being new on the process”

But the reality is my colleague had meetings without me and that’s what blurred the lines of the fact that it was my project

I think it's best to go ahead an notify the person in charge. Tell them the truth. I feel like honesty goes much farther then trying to hide it.

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I don’t want to hide it but don’t want to seem like I’m not an accountable person

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