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How many dudes in the room though? One other, no big deal. Twenty, then possibly a big deal.....
Despite what you may think, many of us men are completely, 100%,absolutely indifferent to your gender. The respect have for you as a fellow FAs is born from your ability, not your sex, orientation, or religion.
Sometimes I think you may read too much into something like this and assume it is one big coordinated front to work against you. In all likelihood it was probably just a mix up of social cues being missed.
As a male advisor, I don’t go out of my way to introduce myself to female advisors or counterparts, especially if they are in the same age category. I just don’t want any conversations/messaging or signals to be misconstrued or taken the wrong way. I don’t want others to “think” something is “going on” with me and someone other than my wife (whom I happen to adore and love tremendously). I know there is a huge difference between networking & flirting. However, I just choose not to put myself in those situations. I’m cordial and nice to any female who speaks with me and I look them in the eyes enough for it not to be weird. I’m just saying this might be a dynamic that you need to consider. If it goes too much the other way, plenty of women are quick to say, “oh he is trying to pick me up”. Sometimes we feel like we’re in a lose/lose situation or at best a double standard atmosphere these days. I’m not saying you are doing this but, maybe all the man hating cultural stuff is starting to take hold.
When you’re the one woman advisor in a room and you literally overthink everything because everything MUST be about you 🙄
Hahahahaha love it
What does this post even mean?
Suggestion: Have the balls to ask your male coworkers if they actually have a problem with you before assuming. Oh wait, you’re female... you don’t have balls. —signed a Female advisor
Oh god this is going to end up with an email from HR
On a more positive note, maybe you’re super hot and they’re too shy to look you in the eyes
Female FA here. Sometimes I think posts are fabricated just to rile people up. Not saying OP is lying, just saying that it appears to be more and more posts like this that do nothing but piss ppl off. Kind of like Facebook for Advisors 🙄
You can thank the #metoo movement. As a male advisor, I purposely don't do 1v1 lunches or cocktails with females. Even if its my best friend's wife, I still refuse to do it unless there are multiple people at the lunch/happy hour. I'm absolutely terrified of the stories I've heard and how anything can be misconstrued. Even if the person did nothing wrong, the negative PR is too great.
Couple things:
1. FA9 didn’t say that the #meetoo movement is a bad thing, or that it hasn’t been beneficial, he just said that is why he needs to behave that way. Just a statement of fact no opinion behind it and it’s right.
2. Is there anything FA9 can say in response to this without getting shit on?
You had a booger hanging from your nose.
Yes, men Just LOVE hanging out with other men and excluding females. “A bunch of women will be there? Nah man, Count. Me. Out!”
OP - if you are going to post something like this and seek some sort of objective and useful comments, you have to provide more info to the situation you were in (type of meeting, how many people, who are they, topics of discussion...etc). Otherwise, it’s a lot of guessing and a waste of time.
This post reminds me of an associate giving a presentation on software I don’t want to use. No shit I’m not looking at you, this whole meeting is a waste of my time.
No idea if that’s you, but maybe it’s not about you or them but the content??
Basically, info required...
We cut a video from the client side highlighting this. Our industry has a really long way to go. That being said, if you are talented you can print money. https://youtu.be/rcrfB8c7pdQ
I liked the video, good work
I’ve learned from my region that the “women advisors” who truly want no perks for their gender but to simply be an advisor are always speaking around males and fitting in. Then there is the click of women who instantly shoot to the other women and BOAs and seclude themselves. I can’t speak for every man at Jones but I enjoy speaking with everyone, but it’s hard when you alienate yourself right out the gate.
We’ve got 10 advisors in our office. 20 at my last firm. At both, half of them were always women. I go to them for their opinion and ask for their help all the time. I can understand it feeling weird if you’re the only woman in an office of all men, probably would be easier for OP in an office like mine, but in my experience, nobody treats anyone differently based on their gender. Now some prospects might, but it’s not always bad. Some prospects I’ve seen trust women advisors easier than male advisors. Some prospects who are sexist assume women are incompetent, but those douches usually have an ego and don’t get along with male advisors either because all advisors have ego. To OP - you got shut down for making a ridiculous statement. It might burn a little bit, but please don’t let it turn into this self fulfilling prophecy of looking at the comments here and using it as evidence that the point of your post is correct. Take the punch, learn from it, and make sure to not be that one annoying female advisor moving forward
Know everyone’s name in the room and call out their name when you speak to them. Male or Female the only way to get them to pay attention is to gain trust. Calling out their name enables ones to focus and listen. Works every time and even if your names not called you pay attention. Think elementary most people don’t listen they just want to talk. Welcome to 5 second attention span America.
A client meeting, regional leadership meeting, chamber meeting? We only have 6 female advisors in a region of 62 advisors, but I believe most of the guys (and all the leadership which includes two of the women) respect the women enough to pay attention when they’re speaking.
What are they looking at?!? OO
But please OP explain this post, I am interested in what you are getting at exactly?
Your post makes it seem as if the men are all hanging out and excluding you. Maybe they are dinks and that's what they're doing. Maybe most know each other and they haven't taken the time to introduce themselves to the stranger in the room, so they're rude. Maybe it isnt a meeting where theres a lot of social time, so they're conforming to the setting of the meeting. Maybe there are a few other men in the room that are feeling left out like you that you've not notices or mentioned. I'm a man that has been in a room nobody talked to. So you get up and say hello or you deal with it. It could be about sexism, sure, but it could be about being human. If you dont like the situation, change it.
That’s what the men do—they all hang out together and exclude us!!!
That has to feel awful... I’m sorry you have to experience that. I hope you find a way to harness it and turn it into an opportunity for growth and motivation!