Wife and I have a combined net worth just south of $1m (including primary residence equity) and, though aberrant and not the case forever, will probably make $600-750k this year (sustainable average around $475). I mostly just save, absent some good food m, and wine subscriptions, and I really need to replace some things (house isn’t in great shape, car is 14yrs old and won’t pass inspection), but I can’t get past the anxiety of spending money and not having the cash on hand.

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Is this a question or a humble brag?

If you're feeling true anxiety about money, I'd speak with a therapist. Clearly there's some sort of trauma preventing you from doing what you claim you need to do.

It may also help you to write out a budget for your current expenses so you can physically see where your money is going to ease some of that anxiety or give you a constructive way to get a hold of your finances.

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You said you are not so sure it’s anxiety, but I’d like to suggest that not everyone has these same stresses at the same level you are expressing, and maybe to explore that it might be anxiety. I’ve spent a number of therapy sessions talking about money and my worries around it, and it has helped.

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Guessing you're a millennial too? I think a lot of us, maybe not all as well off as you, are in that same boat after all the financial trauma the older generations have put our generation through. Multiple recessions, job market crashes that were the worst since the great depression, student loans, housing crisis, etc. I've been told since a young age don't expect social security to be there because the boomers are going to drain it and not pass laws to fix it before they suck it dry. Anxiety may play a part in your fears but so does reality.

Save what you and your spouse feel comfortable with but you're well enough off to also have a fun budget, whether it's travel or food etc. Make a budget and figure out what that amount is and then plan things to spend the fun budget on. Save, but don't forget to live

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All of our parents are 100% boned, they’ll die poor unless they have our support, and I can’t financially support 4 more people, no less their surviving parents. They still have mortgages on their houses, almost no retirement savings left at 70 and no plans to fund themselves through 80,90 or 100. Our medical bills are through the roof for basic things like pregnancy, IVF etc, and housing prices have gone up 40% in 4 years and doubled in the last 10, if not more. In law school we dreamed of $100k jobs and now the same level of security comes in around $300k.

I mean, boo hoo? You may have some legitimate problems in this world my guy but money isn’t one of them. You are sitting prettier than, what, 99% of the world? People get by, buy nice things, and have happy existences on 25% of what you have/make. If you aim higher that’s fine and commendable, but any semblance of “whoa is me” is maddening.

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Hey, the 99% people gave up and went home in like 2012, relax. But seriously, thinking about this, I have so my empathy for everyone behind me in years and who hasn’t done quite as well, it’s just so hard for everyone especially now that everything costs 40% more.

Talk to a financial planner, and they'll help you make a roadmap of your financial goals/needs and the path to get there. I certainly understand your concerns, but you can't take millions of dollars with you into the afterlife if you hoard all your money while you're alive. A financial planner can help you map out what you can spend vs save while still accounting for your long-term needs.

Another way to develop peace of mind is to find ways to generate passive income. Even in just a high yield savings account with no real investment strategy at all, 500k can generate you $25k+ in passive income.

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This has to be a joke

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Why?

Look for a therapist that deals with high net worth individuals.

I can think of a million different ways to spend money so I definitely don't have your issue, but my husband does. What's helped him a lot is making a very detailed budget (literally down to the $1). It'll help you think more rationally about your spending.

You can buy both a house and a car with financing and keep much of your cash on hand (minus down payments) and just make your payments as you go along.

Are you investing? You mention a 2-3 year emergency fund, but having all that liquid is a very bad move. If nothing else, Marcus and Wealthfront high yield savings accounts are at 5.3% interest with a referral right now — no fees, free transfers, all liquid. But you can do better than that with smart investing and potentially really secure your future. Poor people call it debt (and I get the emotional baggage and fear that cones with it), but rich people call it leverage and putting your money to work for you. Maybe you should talk to a financial advisor?

I have a 4.5% account open and maybe $60k in mutual funds. I have some play investing money, but haven’t done so great, so haha, don’t want me getting dangerous with that

Honestly the reactions to this post have really made me question myself. My husband and I have like $3M net worth (due to him getting very lucky with stock at his job the last few years) and we feel like it’s not enough. If we paid off our house fully immediately, we would have like $1.5M left which feels too low to rely on especially because our average yearly income will be much lower now that that windfall is gone, we have six parents to help support, and we are hoping to have kids soon. It just doesn’t go that far nowadays so it’s hard to feel comfortable when you could be one disaster away from having to start over. I am sure everyone here has experienced that with their own salary and feels the same anxiety you do so I don’t know why they’re jumping on you. Honestly, it is probably jealousy, but if your counsel that would typically mean you’ve been working for like 10 years, which isn’t easy in this field, and you’ve managed to save $100K a year between you and your spouse which honestly to me seems like a low percentage of your income. It does seem like you could benefit from some financial advice. At the very least, put your money except for a six month emergency fund in index funds or treasuries. Those are relatively safe and easy.

Yeah, that’s pretty good savings if that’s the case. Taxes are so frustrating, it’s annoying that we have to pay like 50% of our income in taxes because we are “rich” but we live in a high cost of living area where you really need at least $400k a year to have a family and a house and not be counting every dollar. My sister and her husband make like $300k and have two kids, they’re still always stressed about money and the only way they have a house is through a balloon mortgage which imo is very risky. Meanwhile people who make like 10x that pay way less on taxes because it’s all long-term gains and they know how to get all the write offs or have their businesses pay for everything. The tax system really needs a serious overhaul to catch up to the times.

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