Wife and I just found out that we lost the pregnancy around week 8. No heartbeat or development when we went for the 12-week ultrasound. We are devastated as she felt totally normal (nausea, tired, belly starting to show). For any of you that went through something similar, how did you cope? We were so excited to welcome our first baby in February and were planning to tell friends and family this week, now our world is totally upside down and we feel like we are starting from scratch.

So sorry for your loss. You have to remember it wasn’t either of your faults and that there’s nothing wrong with you, especially your wife.

Sorry for your loss. I find that events like these come with very big emotions. And sometimes we try to hide and suppress those emotions, push them away, or even try to accelerate getting past it (with distractions

It will take time to heal and it's ok to acknowledge the emotions you both have, hold them, and let them pass naturally. Create space for each other to talk to and listen to. And if you need someone else outside of you two to talk to as well.

Thank you to everyone for the kind words and support. Talking to our families has been very helpful and we are doing much better than we were a few days ago.

It is amazing to me how many people suffer through this in some kind of silence and my heart goes out to everyone in this group who has experienced something similar and felt comfortable in sharing.

I hope I can have a good news story to share with everyone soon.

That's awful to hear, so sorry.

We went through something similar around a year ago. We had to terminate due to an ectopic pregnancy, which isn't viable to birth and poses serious risk to the mother. It was particularly hard for my wife as she had to consciously terminate it, and the effects of the medication and process weren't subtle.

It was hard for me, but a lot harder for her. As I assume it might be for your wife.Their bodies go through a lot of changes and hormones for this to happen, and then the process itself stops but the hormones and other changes can lag. My wife just needed time to cope and not feel like a failure in all of this. Eventually she was able to put it behind her, and I hope your family can. Covid will probably make it hard to be positive and shift your focus, but do what you can.

Unfortunately, this is all just part of it. Keep trying, stay positive. and try not to dwell too much or too long on the past. This doesn't define future attempts at creating a family. You got this.

So very sorry for what both of you are going through. That nature has evolved to give all of us the chance to create children and is not a single all or nothing opportunity is something worth remembering in a sad moment like this. Take time to grieve for what might have been, and also focus on the fact that the two of you will be loving parents for when it happens again.

Extremely sorry for your loss. It’s a tough situation and there’s not much anyone can say to make it better. My wife miscarried twice before we had our daughter. You’ll never forget, but you have to do your best to move on if you want to try again. I would definitely have tests done to find out if there may have been an underlying cause with your wife’s reproductive system. This isn’t to place blame at all but it’s really important. We didn’t find out until after our first miscarriage that my wife had a bicornuate uterus which results in a higher risk of miscarriage. We almost stopped trying for good after the 2nd because it was just too hard on us both mentally and on her physically. Her last successful pregnancy resulted in our daughter being born a month early. That was after bed rest for most of it. Not trying to push you from trying again at all. Some couples just have more obstacles to overcome when it comes to having kids. Best wishes to you both in your future!

Sorry for your loss. My wife and I had a similar experience when we lost our baby at 15 weeks. It is heartbreaking but please allow yourselves to heal. It took us several months to do so. We are blessed now with a baby girl. DM me if you wish to speak.

I’m so sorry. Our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and I can still bring myself to tears instantaneously by thinking back to it. I cried my eyes out for hours and obviously still have feeling about it over a decade later. Know that grief is normal but you can work through it with time and talking it out.

Sorry to hear. We have gone through this twice at over 16 weeks, it’s devastating- physically and mentally, we cried to sleep for over a year after the second one.

No one way to cope with it. I would actually recommend find those close 1-2 people with whom you can share, event going to a therapist might be a good option, just so you can talk about it. Other stuff of course - stay engaged, get busy. Don’t make having a baby a project, as it will stress the shit out if you. It’s easier said that done ... also supper your spouse in it and give them enough time to rebound.

Went through it three times. Last time we had a heartbeat once and then not the next appt. it was devastating- this is not really any solace, but it turns out it is a pretty large and fairly secret club. Once we started talking to friends it seemed like pretty much everyone had a similar story.

For me, I got to try to focus on work and process on long local drives. My Wife joined a local support group which was nice but got harder as the women eventually all got pregnant and dropped out.

We did get pregnant again (several rounds of IVF), now have two wonderful kids- you have my deepest empathy. Don’t give up, when you are ready, keep trying. And don’t minimize your grief. You have the right to feel a deep, private, and profound sorrow.

4 miscarriages before baby 1 arrived (wife required mega progesterone for entire first trimester to make it stick). We’re now expecting baby #3.

I’m really sorry this happened to you; it’s a terrible club to belong to. That said, it’s far more prevalent than anyone talks about, which really shocked me.

For advice, there’s little to do after 1 miscarriage other than to be very kind to each other, especially you to your wife, and give it time. If it keeps happening, there are experts out there who take it very seriously - too often you’ll just hear “better luck next time”. Dr Mary Stephenson at University of Illinois is top flight - we travelled from NY to Chicago to see her.

Good luck & try to stay positive.

Sorry to hear. This exact same thing happened to us. We now have a two year old who keeps us crazy busy and is the light in our lives. I would just say that the more we spoke about this, the more we found this is something that happens to a lot of people, it just doesn’t get talked about much. Hang in there.

Very sorry OP. Prayers and good vibes to you.

Take time to process it, help your other half through this. Talk about it if that works for you both. But process it in some shape or form. And fldobt give up. This too shall pass.

Tragic news. Very sorry to hear this. Try to keep your head up!

No other advice to give, just wanted to send you some virtual hugs

Been there as well - had given the kid a nickname and told a couple of family members. You probably handled it better than I did - I blacked out in the OBs office, which at least gave my wife something else to focus on (that works for her as a coping mechanism). To add to the hopeful posts, we then did a couple of rounds of IVF to get little guy #1, then a happy surprise #2, then another miscarriage at 6 weeks, and now #3 (no IVF again) at 15 weeks and things going well