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Hi fellow fishies!
Can someone please explain what is “SUPPLEMENTARY allowance” in my payslip??? It is the highest in my entire payslip, more than basic salary. Basic is lets say ₹7 lac annually and supplementary bonus is ₹7 lac 40 thousand.
Can someone please explain why this exists in my paylslip, is it good or bad from tax perspective and shall I ask my HR to decrease it???
Please help asap.
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I have dated someone with a kid and honestly I wouldn’t do it again. You can never truly be a main priority and it’s good that they’re present parents and should be encouraged but at the same time because the kid isn’t yours it can be isolating because you can never become fully involved in that side of your partner’s life.
This! Exactly how it was when I dated men with kids. On the one hand I love and want you to be an active parent and I wouldn't date you if you were a deadbeat. But on the other the priority was always the kids and while it should be, sometimes especially while getting to know someone I just want to be selfish with his/my time. It clearly works for people as there's many of blended families, so if it's working for you don't make that be the deal breaker, but do realize the priority the kids have in his life over you and whether or not you're ready for that within your relationship.
Do you want kids? Are you open to being a step parent? If so, then you can make this work.
I’ve never dated anyone with kids, but one of my best friends started dating her now husband when his daughter was 3 years old. They now have two more kids together, and she considers his oldest daughter to be her oldest daughter, too. My friend had to be okay with going on a lot of family friendly dates, and she had to be okay with a kid being around a lot, but she is so happy with the life she has chosen. It really depends on what you want.
I do want kids. I had never thought about being a step parent but now that I'm getting older wondering if I should be more flexible. I feel like 1 child I might be cool with but two?! Whew that's something to consider for me for sure. I want to continue to see how we vibe as I'm still in the data collection phase of dating lol
Yea after praying on it, I can't do it lol I will probably just date him very casually while keeping my options open. I'll be honest with him though.
Good for you, a very wise decision!
My stepchildren were 10 and 7 when I met my husband. I was 38 w/ no kids, and he was 36. I love him dearly, and other than my father, he's the best man I've ever met. But it hasn't been easy, and I'm glad the kids are 22 and 19. It's still challenging, but I'm committed at this point, and there is light at the end of the tunnel:-)
If you're going to seriously date someone with kids, it's critical to know how he and his ex co-parent and what type of relationship they have. If there is a lot of dysfunction and fuzzy boundaries, run.
Nope. Never have. Never would. Engaged now and neither of us has kids. We want 1-2 and I think the dynamic would be much different if either of us had a child. I say if you like the man give it a try and see. G’luck!
Does he live with the kids full time? If yes, then don't expect him to always be available for you. Even if he sees his kids on a schedule, expect to take a back seat to them as it should be. If you can't handle that then this might not be the right guy to date. However, if you really like each other, give it a shot and see how things go. See how he manages his time as a dad and boyfriend. See how he treats or protects you around his family that may have liked his ex-wife or that may be suspicious of you for whatever reason. Give it a shot and see how things go.
Good point that I had not considered!
Don't do it too many childless men.
For those that dated men with kids, can yall clarify whether the man was married before or baby mama situation?
Married and divorced a year after 2nd child was born.