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Anyone joined NatWest recently..?
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Which is better to join @capgemini or @BNY?
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Mentor
Where do you work that they make people take intelligence tests? Please leave - between the feedback and the tests, they obviously have a horrible culture and treat employees poorly. You should never have felt the need to make yourself smaller; I've gotten the "you're too aggressive" feedback many times, but I always respond with pushing back because a man doing the same thing would never receive that feedback. Honestly, I think the male bosses giving me that feedback realized I'm also the type of person to report sexism, so they didn't continue pushing it.
C1, I’m so sorry. It’s awful. I also do a lot of little things to disarm people, make them comfortable, and reassured, but agree that it’s to no avail….
I’m not a manager, I’m a VP also, with a little experience in these things. Look, I know you said you just wanted to vent. But if you’re up for some unsolicited advice, read on. It sounds like you know you are in a bad gig, so what do you need to get yourself out of it. No excuses, no wait until later, just make a list. It should look so,etching like this: 1. Join a new network of women executives to bolster your confidence, 2. Stretch those professional legs again, and start growing by taking on some new projects (internal or external) 3. Update your resume and give yourself the credit you deserve 4. Get a coach (heck, ask your employer to pay for it since your assessment wasn’t great) to build yourself up and work on your executive presence. It’s not too late to write out your 12 month plan to reimagine yourself. Then, you’ll be ready to look for a job (again, internal or external) and you’ll have a fabulous outlook, attitude and plan to get one. Good luck.
Mentor
I've spent my whole career in defense, so I get what it's like being in a male dominated field, but you have to be yourself. I think that's what's hurting you now - they got what they wanted, they beat you down and put you in a position where you can't even properly compete for promotions. Can you take a leave of absence (a medical leave based on a doctor's letter stating your stress is affecting your health would work) to regain your sense of self and then apply to outside positions?
Mentor
Sorry, I didn't mean to start a separate thread. I'm also the sole breadwinner (no kids), so I do understand the pressures you're under. I hope you're able to find a way to separate how you're treated from how you feel about yourself as a way to gain confidence and sense of self again.
Thanks VP. I have been reaching out to my network. I did update my resume and also just applied to take on some paid and pro bono work to start to feel challenged again.
The assessment was for a new opportunity and - so - can’t bring that up! 🤣☺️🫣 I am going to a conference that I really enjoy next month. So, I am looking forward to that - maybe learn some new things, engage w/like-minded professionals, etc. I am hoping it will energize me and help clarify the best path forward.
I agree. It’s up to me. I’ve just felt like Sisyphus for so long that I think it really has started to affect my whole outlook/persona. This happened about 12 years ago when I was in a super toxic work environment. I eventually left that job behind and was really in a good place. I took a new opportunity bc I was pursued vigorously but it’s been “not as advertised” to say the least…
My personal life has been challenging recently as well. So, it feels like a perfect storm of negativity th and self-doubt rn.
Male dominated environments tend to promote feminine women. Or their version of what they feel femininity looks like. Heels , dresses, light hearted etc. Again their version of femininity. That prob was a way for them to eliminate you. Hence you’re too aggressive feedback.
Mentor
The only tomboy women that get ahead are the ones who are still very attractive, flirt, and the men still want to sleep with
Looks are definitely a significant aspect. As I am very late forties, I am passing into the realm of invisibility, which is fine. Every now and then, some brave soul steps to me like - hey, girrrllll. It’s pretty funny. What drives me more crazy are the young women that think, bc you’re a 10 (not a 6), you don’t work out or aren’t active. Size 4, 30 year old - oh - you work out? SMH. Step back, little one, step back…. Menopause has not improved my tolerance…. LOL!