Am I wrong for not wanting to be a manager?

Turning 30 this year. I’m enjoying my current position as a staff where I don’t have to make tough decision and lead people/projects. On the other hand, some of my friends at my age already become a manager. Sometimes I feel insecure.

Leadership is not for everyone and don't make decisons about YOUR career path based on your friends career. I know plenty of successful people who would never go into leadership (for various reasons; politics, decision making, etc)

Girl NO!! Being a manager is H-A-R-D!!!! It weighs on you and is sometimes more trouble than it’s worth in my opinion. I manage a team now and am starting to think that it’s not for me and I am perfectly ok with that.

I’m 50 and comfortable where I am and refuse to go further. Same reasons. I’ve been “the manager” twice now in my life. I no longer have the desire. My mental health is way too important for me now. I am totally enjoying my new found, work, life balance. I work hard, I have a strong work ethic. I know I’d go all in as a manager and lose what I have now.
Do what you know is best for you.

Definitely okay! And I wish it were normalized more (as someone who has often reported to people who were forced into management). Figure out what you want your career to look like and then find roles that support it.

Saddest vestige from the industrial days is the hierarchical view that management is an advancement. It made sense before, you got rewarded by being promoted to a position that was less physically strenuous. You lived longer. But it's an unfortunate remnant in today's workforce. Management today should be taking a step back, succeeding through the team, taking the hit but giving away the success. It requires a whole other skill set than any IC role. Not saying it's not something that can be a personal advancement step, if you prefer to deal with people and politics rather than product, but too many people go into management just because there is no other progression option and it trickles down as toxicity onto the whole org...

Not at all! Each person is different. The main point is for you to love what you do and be happy doing it. And even going forward there are multiple growth opportunities as individual contributor if that's what you want.

Don't feel like you have to be a manager or do something that isn't what you want at all. You do you! All the best 👍

Not everyone can or should be a people manager. It might be worth exploring why you aren’t interested in leading people or projects though. Perhaps you don’t feel qualified (imposter syndrome), are concerned you wouldn’t be supported in a higher level role, or don’t like the management culture at your organization. Make sure that your reasons aren’t based on limiting beliefs or issues that could be corrected.

If you have no interest in people management, talk to your manager about what your career path could look like as an individual contributor. Even if you like the job you’re in, you’ll want to ensure you continue to grow to avoid hitting a salary cap or stagnating at your current level.

There’s other ways to be a manager without managing people. You could manage a product, a process, staffing, etc. I also have no desire to be a people manager, but I like to own and manage other aspects of my work.

I'm a current manager and realized 9 months in its not for me. Reading your post is actually very validating from my own experience. I realized that I enjoy being an individual contributor.

Baby girl you do you! 💪🏼

Not being a manager is totally fine, but you need to figure out an advancement path as a solo contributor. In time you will need more money.

No. I wish more people were self-aware and understood what it means. Also, 30 is young. I’m sure there are some great managers in their early 30s. For the first 2/3 of my career I had no desire to be a formal manager. It happened after I found myself as a lead in an ic role. I took on the management role to better support the team and our projects and I was 44 when that happened. Maybe I was a late bloomer but I could not have imagined taking that role at 30 and doing it well. I certainly wouldn’t have had the empathy from the experience. But everyone’s experience is different.

Nope! And you are not alone! ☺️

It’s not for everyone. A lot of people seem to think it’s glamorous or full of power, but it’s really a lot of making a case for something and being told no nine times out of ten and having to be the bearer of bad news about raises or promotions and the one to get the anger or disappointment from direct reports.


It can have rewarding moments, but it’s hard. It can be emotionally draining. I like mentoring people but I’ve been debating not being a manager because it’s mentally and emotionally exhausted me in a way being a IC never did. I spend so much of my weeks fighting for my team to give them whatever they need and feel like I get told no by exec leadership so often that the team thinks I’m the one choosing to say no. It kind of sucks.

No way! Not everyone is going to enjoy management (and not everyone will have the skills needed leading to the sad state of terrible management we are seeing in lots of places). Your comp shifts to rely on the success of others more, way more out of your control. You manage the emotions of your team a lot, being a rough wolf is not an option. You shield your directs from the crap that rolls downhill. Or everyone is into that. Don’t let someone else’s path make you feel insecure. Feel secure and confident that where you is where you have chosen to be and hopefully you are crushing it too!!

I don’t think you’re wrong at all. I have no interest in management and I’m almost 44. I’ve found there to be pressure in the industry from “women in tech” initiatives where the whole focus is that there aren’t enough C-level executive women in tech. This totally glosses over other areas where there are even fewer women, such as solution architects. You can make more money than a manager anyway in certain roles, like the aforementioned SA role. Too many women in tech it seems only want to be project managers, when I can tell you right now that architects make more money.

Don’t feel pressured. I stepped down from being a manager specifically because I don’t like baby sitting adults. If you like your position, keep working hard in it and ask for raises as needed. Higher salary and less responsibility that way lol

I feel the same! I so enjoy the balance I have in my role and have no desire, despite knowing it’s “the next step” in my career, to manage people… ride the wave as long as you want/can!!

Choosing to do what is best for you demonstrates great sense of self-awareness. Not everyone needs or wants to be a manager. Hold you head up high for knowing what you want because most people do what they think is the next step vs what is right for them.

I feel the same way. I never had the dream of being a manager. I do like project managing. Not people managing. Now that I'm 42 I am more open to be in a lead type position for the right money. As well as the leadership is great and provide mentoring.
I've been a tech support tech for 14 yrs. I'm at a point to move to a different type of IT job or be in a leading role.
It may come to you as time comes. I've had friends and colleagues become higher level in the field. I'm happy for them but I never felt insecure. I thought it was not for me at the time.