Any parents here with 5-16 year old kids who are also struggling with this whole rainbow movement going on in US? My 7 year old daughter has to name her library teacher a “they” and tbh I don’t want school to daily influence how my kids think about these topics. Curious to hear and learn from how other parents are dealing with this

likefunny
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Calling someone “they” based on what they want to be called isn’t going to make you or your children move along the rainbow spectrum lmaooo.

Using someone’s “preferred” pronoun is just basic decency tbh, not any type of grandstanding or endorsement one way or another.

likefunny

Lol okay

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When I moved the the US, during the first Ramadan, I told the partner that I observe rituals and I will be fasting and praying. He said, “I get it, but we are on a short deadline and you need to prioritize work during the day.” The Director on the project pulled me aside and said, “I heard what Tom said - ignore him. He can’t do anything if you want to fast and pray, and we (the team) will cover for you.” And they did. I’ll never forget how, although my team didn’t necessarily understand or agree with my religion, they respected its importance to me and went out of their way to allow me to be me at work.

I want to raise my kids to be the team, not the partner.

likesmart

Admit I’m not a parent, but curious as to why you’re bothered by this, OP? If the librarian prefers being referred to as “they,” how does that impact your child? Or you?

As my parents taught me, you don’t have to agree with or understand someone’s point of view, but you do need to be respectful and kind.

likeupliftingfunny

Homophobia.

The elephant in the room that watches over the wolf in sheepskin.

👎👎

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I agree that it’s the act that’s wrong, but the brazen propagation of that lifestyle is also wrong and if you accept that then you’re indirectly endorsing it. Find me anyone on that spectrum who thinks they’re wrong and doesn’t want to encourage others of a similar bent to come out in the open and shamelessly call for acceptance.

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I agree with you that this indoctrination through education is problematic and at this point the teachers are already on that spectrum as they've grown up in this environment too as opposed to when we're growing up and our teacher's grew up without smartphones.

Islamic school or homeschool, there's programs where you can find a group of parents so it makes the load easier. Being blasted with this nonsense for 8 hours everyday from K-12 will destroy your kids mentality believe me. I went to Public school my entire life and I'm still suffering the consequences of it because I know so little about the deen and believe some things are right which the deen prohibits. I know personally I will def look to homeschool my kids in the future in Sha Allah, and if not then I will find a good strict Islamic school to put them in to protect them from this corruption. If I can't do either I'll move to protect them, money is everywhere but I'm going to be asked about what I did to protect my family and teach them the deen, if I say I didn't move because of money there's an ayah in the Quran rebuking that argument because Allahs land is vast with money everywhere and if you do something for the sake of Allah, surely it will never be in vain. May Allah make it easy for you.

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FWIW: I went to public school and all of my North American cousins did too IIRC. Everyone still turned out relatively religious with a good amount of knowledge about the Deen, IMO.

Not delegitimizing your experience, just saying that maybe some schools aren’t so bad, and that maybe other factors (family, community, etc.) will affect kids’ mentalities more. Allah knows best

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Interesting responses to a fairly serious question.

D1: bothered by this as The school and surrounding are teaching my kids a view of life I don’t agree with. I don’t want my kids to be dealing with 20 different pronounces and remembering how everybody wants to be called. It’s confusion for them and not something they have to deal with now. My daughter is 7 and needs to focus on other things at school. Kindness and respect can also be thought without confusion children about these topics, just like you and I have learned this growing up.

M1: not sure you got the question..

C1: homeschool is unfortunately not in our realm of possibilities but that would indeed be one of the solutions in dealing with this (or moving to a more Republican state…:)).

Just curious how other parents are thinking about this topic. Thanks for all serious responses 🏳️‍🌈 😜

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Your kids will receive that exposure and education whether you like it or not, tbh. They will have LGBTQ peers, teachers, media figures. The school’s POV will probably be more inclusive and PC, and frankly, better they’re exposed in a safe environment versus in a place where their response and reaction matter.

We can’t close off our young ones from the world, nor should we. Perhaps you should consider the impact of pulling your kids away from this.

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You can’t disintegrate your children from the world outside. You can teach them what is right and wrong according to your religion. I don’t have kids but have two nephews who are reaching middle school these days. They have always gone to public school and then take islamic school / quran classes on weekends. They knew what rainbow culture was long before we expected but they also knew it is not inline with Islam. The first time they told me about this, they said, yeah I know it is not allowed in islam. Very clear there.
Similarly, for a lot of things in other things too, they are very clear on what mainstream west vs religion teaches us. Funny story, one of them told their teacher that people don’t disappear after death like you are teaching and that there is after life for which we do good and will be held accountable. The teacher sent a note to their mom asking her to teach them to mellow their religious views in classes.
Point being, you need to be the one telling them what is right and wrong and let them face the world. Sheltering only works for so long and sometimes is more harmful than good.

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Calling someone by their pronouns is about respect and inclusion. The majority of my generations’ parents shielded their kids for as long as they could and avoided difficult/awkward conversations. The reality is your kids will be exposed to things that you do not want them to be exposed to at some point. It’s your choice to equip them with knowledge and exposure to different beliefs, so they are prepared to make their own decisions. I feel like a lot of my generation experienced confusion and was largely ill-equipped for various social scenarios due to other parents’ choice to close their eyes and not have tough conversations. I’m not necessarily blaming them entirely either because I think they themselves were figuring it out and quite literally did not have the language to talk about certain things. You can get ahead of all kinds of difficult conversations and not repeat the previous generations’ mistakes.

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What do you do when your coworker wants to be referred to as “they”?

likehelpful

Is it one they or many theys?

I think calling someone they is the same as calling someone with their name. It’s something someone chose for themselves. In fact it maybe a good educational moment for your kid from a religious education pov.

I think the challenge I see is that in schools in NY they are teaching 3 year olds to select their own gender (I am not even joking), and that kind of becomes troublesome with me.

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