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BecUse if you ask, as a woman particularly, they assume you are going to come in and have all the babies, or that you are gonna leave for daycare pick up at 4:55. Which you totally should do, but if you tell them that up front you take a step back in the race to be the one they choose to hire.
It sucks, but it’s the reality. I’ve heard older men discuss this openly.
Get the offer, then ask the question outright. “Can you tell me a little about your family friendliness or any policies related to that?”
But only once you have the offer.
I think I know why, but why this route?
I always ask about the day-to-day and work-life balance so I can read between the lines, based on what they say. If the interview is going well and we're having a good conversation (as opposed to stiff question-response), I will also slip in something about my family or interests, which opens the door for them to do the same. That helps me gauge if there's anyone/thing they care about besides advertising/work (which usually equates to "better" balance).
Most companies will now include their family friendly benefits on their career page. If there are specific questions that you have, then I would wait until the offer is in hand to avoid any perspectives about why or what you are asking for.
If there are specific health related questions, then you can ask for the benefits information at the time of offer as well to help make the decision.