Any tips on how I can get ahead of the toxic influence my husband's new coworkers are having on him? We've always split household and parenting tasks, but I am the breadwinner. So, you can say traditional gender roles aren't a thing in our home. My husband started a new job a few weeks ago, and I guess the guys he works with have been giving him a hard time about how things are done in our home and doing their best to make him feel less like a man. So, we've been fighting over how we split the

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Your relationship is yours and he shouldn’t be comparing your dynamic with the dynamics of other couples to hold that against you. You are married. You’ve established what you’re comfortable with and what he’s comfortable with. If he is no longer comfortable with the dynamic, that requires a conversation where you both need to give each other room to be heard. Y’all are supposed to grow together. If you’re growing in different directions, that’s a tough conversation. It doesn’t have to be a fight but you need to establish what your boundaries and comfort zone are and he needs to do the same. If there’s no overlap, the tough conversations continue. If I were in your shoes, I would try to hear him out but I definitely would not give into a bunch of traditional gender roles just because his new “friends” have relationships like that.

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Does he work at a manosphere podcast or something? The fact his coworkers bring up gender roles regularly at work is wild to me as a guy. I've never been in a work environment like that, nor would I want to.

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No one can truly know what the coworker and his wife actually do at home, so what this chap wants to make out us that his life is sooooo much better than your husbands life because his wife does xyz for him… well bare in mind he has a Pinocchio nose growing way too big for his face.

Or maybe not, you and your hubby will never know.

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chores and how we manage our finances. We've never had these issues before. But my husband keeps pointing out how this coworker's wife behaves or what this other guy has to say. It's frustrating but I'm not willing to budge or give in to these weird demands. I love my husband, but I will divorce him before I take on a more traditional wifey role. Has anyone else had to deal with this? What should I do or say here?

Wow. Get couples therapy, or just skip over that step and divorce now.

You don’t empathize with your husband, you secretly resent him, and his grievances are shut down instead of having any ounce of curiosity about the gigantic flashing signal that he is really unhappy. He’s obviously been afraid to tell you things directly because you have a “my way or the highway” way of handling things and are the overbearingly dominant person in the marriage. He has no agency.

This relationship is not going to survive unless you truly open your mind and actually start wondering (and caring) about the underlying reason why he’s bringing anything up at all, instead of having a knee-jerk defensiveness about the logistics, or being bewildered at the possibility that he has his own feelings. It’s relationship 101.

He might just need some more acknowledgment that you’re happy about his new job (and that he probably got a raise). After only a few weeks, I wouldn’t conclude that it’s toxic and permanent

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