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Can u help me with the in-hand amount please?
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Forensic tech vs non tech..go!!
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Father to 3 here.
My main takeaway from parenting is how little you can affect their specific destination, but how much you can affect their instincts on what is right vs. wrong, what is kind vs. mean, what is generous vs. selfish, what kind of effort they should feel proud of vs. what they should strive to do better at, how much intrinsic value they have as a person, and how much they’re loved, no matter what.
The biggest way to help them find their passion is to mirror their enthusiasm when they show it, and encourage them to not switch away too soon.
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Great question! Something we have really thought a lot about. Also father of 3, 2 boys in early 20s and a daughter in high school. I think you have to provide support to your kids to pursue their passions. I grew up lower middle class, went to state schools (on scholarship), slogged through the ranks in consulting based on nothing more than grit and luck. I am in a position to support any educational and career choice my kids want to do. And that’s really important to me.
I want my kids to have a shot at pursuing their dreams and not just feel they have to make money. But also to understand that money is important and I’m not going to support them forever.
One of my boys actually wants to be a doc, but he took a year off to travel/volunteer internationally. COVID brought him back early and now he’s working for a local non profit on public health. He is very kind and wants to do good. He’s living at home now, but we give him a good amount of freedom (we are like roommates!). He’s actually applying to med schools now. He has fantastic grades, mcat scores, so assuming his recs and essays come out strong, I think he will have a lot of good options.
My other son is into acting/improv, comedy, and music. He’s been interested in performing since he was 7-8 years old. We talked a lot about how it’s very difficult to make a career in the arts. And how if he wants to do this, he has to go to a top college and take this very seriously. He graduated from Harvard, worked on the lampoon, he’s done stand up and improv in small clubs in New York, Chicago, LA, college towns. He moved to LA just before the pandemic and is still there. Really COVID has been terrible timing for him. He’s worked as a writer on a few things and produces original content on a few platforms. He’s young and working very hard, but has yet to catch his big break. We are super proud of him, but it’s a tough situation. Like we don’t want him to be struggling when he’s 30. I’m hoping as things open back up, he will have more opportunities. He has been asking a little about working in consulting for a couple years and if I think it’s a good idea. I’m not crazy about it :) but I’ll support him if he wants to give it a try. I think one of his friends recently gave up and went to mbb, so it’s on his mind.
My daughter is a junior in high school. She’s also interested in medicine. I think this pandemic has made her think twice about the career though. Unlike my older son, she less interested in doing good and I think wanted to go into medicine for her love of science. Seeing how health care workers fared in the pandemic, I don’t know maybe she’s a little spooked. She’s thinking about colleges now and while it was always her dream to go to the east coast/shoot for an ivy. She’s been talking more about staying home and either taking a gap year or just going to a local college. I’m hoping things open up and she feels more comfortable to go after what she wants.
Anyways. That was fun to share. I think the point it every kid is different. The best you can do is talk to them and help them make their own decisions. Our kids have so much opportunity. It’s important not to let that turn into crippling pressure. We expect a lot from them, but ultimately want them to be kind and happy. Good luck!
Partner1, thank you for such a detailed reply. I think letting kids explore options and a gap year to actually explore also helps. I am glad your kids have such a wonderful parent. I grew up in a home where I knew I have just one shot. So I chose the most conventional route to be successful and get out of the home. My choices have always been very conservative so I don’t need any family support ever. It does seem my decisions were led by money a lot. I do think having kids realize money is not the only thing to pursue will help!
I have a 3 year old and a 1.5 year old so maybe less relevant. But my thought is just to expose them to as many things as you can - take them on outings, enroll them in different camps etc and you will see over time what they gravitate to. I don’t think it is something that happens overnight but kids make their preferences known