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Comparison is the thief of joy.
I'm 36M living way beyond the dreams I had 15 years ago. The goal was to get to college then graduate. That's more than most of my family can say. 2011 was still a rough time post recession, so holding a steady job wasn't even realistic for many people then.
Fast forward and now I've got a healthy marriage and two healthy kids, and our HHI is ~$350K, which is PLENTY. I know there are people making more (especially on this app), but I also know people would kill for much of what I've got and it's insulting to my 2011 self to not be grateful for it.
Do I want to earn more? Yes, as does my wife. But I try to cherish everyday because I know my future self will miss these days right now. Our kids, family and friends will age and our health will fade too; money doesn't stop those things. Unless I can learn from others' success, I tune it out because it doesn't matter.
Who only care about how much money they make or respect anything about how much money they have or make or whatever those people are no one you wanna be around because they have absolutely no idea what it means to be moral or they just are self-centered and do not care about any other people at all because anyone who is at the top and makes a ton of money. They got there because they knew somebody and everybody just implants their friends around them. That’s how it is in every goddamn part of society and I do not respect somebody because of how much money they have I respect them because of their being because of them the way that they carried themselves their work ethic them morale how they are what kind of energy they have in person and how aware they are this surroundings
My whole perspective really changed about 5 years ago when I literally almost died. Now I find my joy through volunteering and enjoying my life. Find something that you care about and share it! It will make you feel good to do it, to share it and encourage others to do the same.
As we need that
Yes but I try to tell myself it’s mostly BS. I don’t even know what LI is anymore, half of it seems to be more FB posts than professional. The other half is paid content or just people gloating.
been there i had to choose myslef. I enjoy volunteering to
Don’t confuse career success with happiness. I find it’s usually an inverse relationship.
Rising Star
Coming from a Partner, this somehow kills that envy
The greatest freedom you can achieve is not caring what others think and being able to focus on what really makes you happy/content. Not comparing yourself to others is a big part of this.
I go back and forth; what really forced my hand earlier in life was a controlling, oppressive family. Now I remind myself that in two generations max, no one will even know who I was, so best to focus on my happiness, knowing not much else matters. The Millionaire Next Door is also a great book to read concerning not getting trapped in comparisons.
What's wrong with being an average joe? My titles aren't as fancy as some of the people I graduated with. But I make a comfortable living, and I have a happy life. A couple of the people I have graduated with have passed from cancer in their early 30s. Others have miserable lives because of health issues or other circumstances. I'm lucky to be an average joe.
Chief
LinkedIn has gotten pretty annoying in all honesty. It’s turned into a competition just like every other social media platform
Yep. Lot's of fake posts.
People I know put posts out about how successful they are, there great job, etc and most if not true.
I don't understand the need of people to put fake brags online - IDK who they think they are fooling?
Connect with those people and upgrade your situation. Don’t be shy about it! My last two positions are precisely from this. People love to help others, as do I.
Rising Star
We need more professionals like you
Never compare. look at your life and what you can do to improve it and look after your nearest and dearest.
Although a bit of downwards comparison never hurts 😜 I find faceboook is good for that.
Rising Star
Good tip hahaha
Frankly no. For two reasons: 1) everything on LinkedIn is embellished to say the least and 2) people have a different starting point in life and what makes one happy doesn’t make everyone happy. If you would enjoy being a VP, go for such a job, if you enjoy risk, you can also start your own company. I get the 40% increase is tempting and would definitely help anyone but don’t let this put you down. Maybe they were on a way lower pay than you even. Not saying this to make you feel better but unless this “envy” makes you want to the best version of yourself daily, then it’s just wasted energy
Nope compare myself all the time… some days it’s hard not to wonder when we get to have a highlight reel
Rising Star
🙌
How many of your other acquaintances aren't so successful? You're not comparing yourself to the median, not even the average, but the few specific guys who got exceptional success (and you don't even know if it was because of their own merit or because their families have good connections or funds).
Enjoy your life, your family and friends and community and stop scrolling social media.
Yeah I feel this. I was sacked from a job I love over a political battle with my boss, it was extremely public in my industry and people “took sides.” He got promoted, I had to leave the industry entirely in order to get a new job. You have no idea how embarrassing it is to go on to LinkedIn and see his ugly mug posted everywhere.
Rising Star
Sounds like that left scars, sorry to hear that!
Learn to tune out empty cans that try to feed their narcissistic thirst for attention. There are some genuinely useful and interesting content on there, but I pay no heed to attention seekers who regard themselves as ‘renaissance’ individuals
I've encountered actual envy every day of my work life. I spent 20 years at a company and only got a nominal promotion from one boss early in my time there, and it was not because I was a poor worker, I just never spoke up, foolishly believing that hard work is what gets you ahead, but that's not the way it works, anywhere, because the squeaky wheel always gets the grease. In fact, in my last four years working there, I had only one small nominal raise.
I was cut just after reaching 20 years there, but, a number of years prior to that, I realized that the company was not going to look after me, I had to do things for myself, so I invested in the market, and now, ten years after being cut, my net worth shot up to three times what it was when I was cut in January of 2016.
In a way, I'm so glad I got cut, because I worked for a horrendous financial company I won't name, and that financial company didn't really allow people to invest on their own.
So, my point is, forge your own path, the company you work for is not your friend, they don't give a crap about you, make your own smart decisions
Opinion: Don’t take people’s LI comments to be more than what they are - social media is an endless spiral of self-affirmation intended on providing one with mental stability.
That promotion to VP? Could be simply a title change with no actual improved authority or salary (happens often)
That 40% boost in salary sounds great… until you realize the person was barely making $50k to begin with (and now they’re at $70k, still barely liveable).
The person creating their third startup? Might be doing so because the other two failed (and that’s typically part of the road to success).
None of this is meant to downplay anyone’s achievements, but rather to offer perspective.
A final note - the happiest/most successful people *generally* aren’t online bragging about it. They’re off living the life they worked hard for. Good night everyone ✌️
Rising Star
Haha thanks for sharing, good night!
It’s natural and happens with all social media, which is why it’s easy for your mental health to go down the drain when interacting with it.
Turn that envy into curiosity and encouragement for them. Reach out. It takes a lot of work to get there and to maintain it. They could be drowning but you’d never know from that.
Rising Star
Right! All social media is brain rot these days
I actually deleted all my social medias for this reason. I want to be intentional about the people I want to focus on. Myself, my family and good friends and my drivers and motivators now. If I find myself getting jealous of others, I try to wish them the best and know that if they can achieve that I can as well while also reminding myself we all are dealt different circumstances and we all know different people… I try to be thankful for all I have and what I have accomplished knowing what little I came from. THB, sure I am envious of others, but knowing what I used to have and seeing everything I have earned for myself now makes me more proud then anything. Removing outside influences has really helped my focus on my own life and things I can do immediately to change it vs doomscrolling and being envious of others.
Compare yourself to yourself, will make you happier as you track your own growth instead of others
Trust me it’s hard for me too, it’s never my initial reaction. Just have to keep reminding myself
As someone who was promoted to VP, I'll tell you that I cared about it for about 10 minutes and it was basically a title change only. Sure, every company is different, but in mainstream corporate America, titles are mostly meaningless.
Rising Star
Are you in the financial sector? VP is a pretty meaty title imo