Does anyone else manage a team of people who are much older than you and feel that they do not respect your direction? I’m currently feeling some level of distrust from them when I give them my instructions, and now they are starting to circumventing me out of certain conversations by only speaking to the newer resource at my level. It’s annoying as I’m the one who’s been on this project much longer and has a better understanding of what is going on.

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Be a better leader. They will respect you if you’re good and prove your competency.

likefunny

I agree, I thought I’ve been pretty fair. I’ve tried to congratulate them individually on things that they did well and interject some non-work related conversations to lighten the mood, but it’s not going to plan it seems.

I think it started when the partner specifically asked me to hand over my process planning work to them to alleviate my time for other actives and I give them feedback once they finished. I gave one individual a lot of feedback and I feel that she was overwhelmed due to my manager requiring that she corrects the deliverable that same day on a Friday, along with handling her other responsibilities.

To be honest, I feel that our management should have been slightly less aggressive with our deadlines for the project plan or we should’ve employed more resources but I digress.

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My blunt sense from your word choice and thought structure is that you’re expecting deference to your guidance purely out of your title by default, and your actual leadership/management ability isn’t cutting it

I’ve worked alongside clients old enough to be my grandparent, and I’ve directly managed people six years older than me (I’m 24) - never got any sense of such an issue. Competence only takes one so far; it’s also humility and respect

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I mean, hey, being self-aware enough to ask these questions and then take them to heart is huge within itself. So many people just don’t ever do that, and you should be proud you are 😄

And thanks, C1. Very flattered, but I’m also taken 🤣

funny

Although I completely agree with everyone’s comments, let’s not discount the fact that people have different working styles and you may just never be on the same wavelength. If you were more serious/experienced/older, the more traditionally minded folks would likely be more inclined to come talk to you. But then the more liberal/hip folks may be intimidated and seek others out. At the end of the day, you won’t be able to everyone’s cup of tea. Best of luck!

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That’s a good point, yeah I want to be better, but I know it’s difficult to please everyone exactly how they want. Thanks for sharing 😀

What's the dynamic where they have other options to go outisde of you? Are you a higher level but not in a manager role?

Yea originally this project required a partner director manager and consultant along with contract resources but two weeks into the project, the partner figured it required more help, and brought in one more manager and another full time consultant. Fast forward a month and a half later the other consultant that started is now leaving, as they were pulled in for another project that they were committed to prior joining this one. However, now there is a new consultant to replace her at this level and he joined two weeks ago. Hope this makes more sense.

Some people are just envious, or maybe they feel that you’re too proud. Have you tried talking to one of them about this behaviour?

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