Does anyone know of any local bar associations / groups that have events in NYC or NJ that are pretty well attended? Want to commit to getting out and meeting people / volunteering this year and building community in the city.

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Try the NYC bar and NYCLA events. There are also various attorney networking groups you can find on Alignable.

Sometimes the New York State Academy of Trial lawyers have events - https://trialacademy.org

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I would also go on the Meetups app and look for groups

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